Emotional Intelligence

Resources

Navigating Power Dynamics, Disarming Human Defenses with Ann & Sue: Session 3 of 5 (185)

Sep 13, 2022

When you unconsciously deem “power” as what keeps you “safe” in vulnerable situations, reflecting and rewiring on this dynamic can transform your connections.
Human defenses are quite necessary to protect our nervous system and sense of self. The goal isn’t to eliminate defenses – but to learn how to regulate them, especially in relationships. Defenses can often feel triggered when there is an uneven power dynamic expressed in a relationship and can be influenced by outside factors like gender socialization, culture, or personal history.

Our Friend the Hippocampus: Disarming Human Defenses with Ann & Sue, Session 2 of 5 (184)

Sep 1, 2022

Learn more about autobiographical memory and the hippocampus in managing stress. By blending neuroscience and a 3 R Spiral of change strategy, we can begin to sort through our defenses, rewire how we navigate our world, and move towards healing our relationships. Shownotes at www.therapistuncensored.com/184. Join our Neuronerd private community for an ad-free feed at www.therapistuncensored.com/join.

The Science of Trust and Attachment with Dr. Steve Finn (180)

Jul 19, 2022

The science of trust is key. Deciding who to trust in today’s world is especially hard – fake news, political polarization and societal strife amplifies our already on guard nervous system. When our trust has been broken, whether early in childhood or in our adult relationships, learning who to trust can prove even more challenging. In today’s episode, Dr. Steve Finn and Dr. Ann Kelley discuss the science behind epistemic trust and why many of us may have broken trust meters. They discuss how trust issues can create a mess in our relationship, whether we are the constant skeptic who resists taking in new information or we tend to trust blindly, without testing or holding healthy doubts. Together they provide deep and compassionate insights into these struggles and how they relate to internal working models. A fan favorite, Dr. Finn returns to bring his years of expertise to our listeners about ways to build curiosity and tools of mentalization, including our ability to handle healthy skepticism. Shownotest at www.therapistuncensored.com/180

It’s Not Communication You Need, it’s Connection – with Guest John Howard (178)

Jun 21, 2022

We often focus on being understood through words, but guess what? Words and verbal communication can be mildly irritating to our nervous system. Learn what works and what doesn’t when trying to build closeness and connection with those you love. Tune in for this week’s episode as co-host Sue Marriott and John Howard discuss the power of mindfulness and spirituality on our minds and body, and the lasting roles they play in all types of relationships.

Managing Intense Feelings for Kids and Grownups with Lindsey Kealey (165)

Dec 22, 2021

Learn the 3 C’s of connection and social emotional learning.
Co-host Dr. Ann Kelley and child specialist, Lindsey Kealey dive into strategies for teaching kids how to regulate their emotions and promote positive connection with others. Linsey Kealey has developed a trauma-based, neuroscience-informed program that uses social emotional learning and problem-solving strategies to help all of us make positive decisions and thrive in our relationships. She utilizes the Three C’s method, connect, calm and collaborate, to help transform the way we interact with ourselves and others. They discuss the three C method of connection to help cultivate healthy relationships and positive development in our children. MORE www.therapistuncensored.com/episodes

TU156: What Actually Heals in Therapy with Psychoanalyst Nancy McWilliams – Replay

Sep 15, 2021

It’s hard to verbalize the problem with “evidence-based” models of care, but renowned psychoanalyst and psychologist Nancy McWilliams does just that. In today’s replay, she further describes what happens in quality depth-oriented therapies such as psychoanalytically-informed, attachment-oriented therapy, and integrates the neurobiological aspect that Freud started that has now been confirmed. Enjoy this episode replay, because it still has so much wisdom to share.

TU155: Speakably Sexy – Communicating to Make Sex Hotter and Relationships More Alive with Dr. Susan Ansorge REPLAY

Aug 31, 2021

In this episode Therapist Uncensored co-host Dr. Ann Kelley joins guest Dr. Susan Ansorge to talk about was to communicate about sex.

TU153: How Good Boundaries Bring Us Closer – REPLAY – with Juliane Taylor Shore

Aug 18, 2021

Interpersonal co-regulation requires boundary-setting. Therapist Uncensored co-hosts Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott join the founder of IPNB Psychotherapy of Austin, Dr. Juliane Taylor Shore, in a discussion on interpersonal neurobiology and regulation. We’ll explore the three types of boundaries, how to co-create them plus how to stay regulated using internalized relationships with the self.

TU152 – Helping the Intense Child: The Nurtured Heart Approach REPLAY

Aug 8, 2021

In this episode replay, we’ll go over where many parents go wrong, what we can do instead, and how shifts in our strategies can revolutionize our households. Learn the strategies of the Nurtured Heart Approach with expert guest, Elizabeth Sylvester.

TU151: Secure Parenting While Under Stress with Dan Siegel & Tina Payne-Bryson REPLAY

Aug 4, 2021

Learn the cheat code to parenting in a pandemic with Dr. Dan Siegel and Dr. Tina Bryson as they break down the science behind attachment and showing up. This is literally from the father of interpersonal neurobiology and his colleague as they apply the actual science to managing massive uncertainty and unprecedented stress.

TU 147: Body-Focused Therapy with Dr. Robert Coffman

Jun 1, 2021

Bioenergetic therapist Dr. Robert Coffman joins co-host Dr. Ann Kelley for a conversation on body-focused therapy. Learn the about the interplay of your nervous system and how that relates to attachment and trauma.

TU 146: Behind the Scenes in Therapy with Lori Gottlieb

May 17, 2021

Lori Gottlieb & Sue Marriott share surprising insights about what therapy delivers and her NYT best-seller “Maybe You Should Talk to Someone.” Surprisingly, people go to therapy to unlearn themselves.

TU140 – Couples Therapy Through the Eyes of Experts: Ellyn Bader and Peter Pearson

Feb 1, 2021

Every couple has its ups and downs, but it’s easy to think that our relationship is uniquely challenging. Experts in couples therapy and a couple themselves, Ellyn Bader and Peter Pearson join co-host Sue Marriott to discuss what most people get wrong about working with couples, and how to help get it right. Together, they’ll dive into the dos and don’ts of couples therapy, from the perspective of the therapist and the patient.

TU139: Boys and Sex, Modern Young Men and Sexuality with Peggy Orenstein

Dec 13, 2020

Dive into hook up culture, locker room talk, and the modern shifts in youth sexual behavior and health. Peggy Orenstein unpacks her new book “Boys and Sex” with co-host Ann Kelley. In this peak behind the curtain of the experience of young male sexuality, we’ll see how boys struggle with the conflicting needs of the conquest narrative of sex and their own internal understanding of pleasure. Her book was written about both cis and trans men, and covers the whole spectrum of sexual orientations, backgrounds, and experiences.

TU138: What if it’s You that’s the Difficult One? Holding Your Own Challenging Personality Traits (6 of 6)

Dec 10, 2020

So we’ve been studying how to hold our own with challenging people, but what if you become aware that that difficult person is you? Cringe. Yea, us too, we get it. We summarize and review the series and focus on how to change your life for the better. Sue Marriott and Ann Kelley take you along on some personal examples of being difficult themselves.

TU137: Holding Your Own S5, Malignant Narcissism (5th in a series)

Nov 30, 2020

Accusations are their confessions. In this episode learn why we elect, promote, excuse and love those with malignant narcissist tendencies. Sort out the other forms of self-involvement, psychopathology and anti-social traits from this dangerous personality structure. Sue & Ann finish out their series on Holding Your Own with Challenging Personality Traits – this is session 5 of 6. Find more here www.therapistuncensored.com

TU136: Holding Your Own S4 -“Borderline” Traits (4th in a series)

Nov 18, 2020

When does sensitivity cross the line into clinical reactivity?

Borderline traits, or those with highly reactive personalities, are another common challenge in relationship that we might need support to navigate well.

Today’s episode sees co-hosts Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott unpack high reactivity through a caring and developmental approach. Together, they discuss how these dynamics and traits arise, what they look like, and what we can do when we find ourselves in relationships with them. Find more here www.therapistuncensored.com/episodes

TU135: Holding Your Own Session 3 – Covert Narcissism (3rd in a Series)

Nov 10, 2020

When does self-consciousness and self-reflection cross the line into self-preoccupation? Covert narcissism is also called thin-skinned, vulnerale, depressed or closet narcissism. It’s a real thing but unlike grandiosity, it’s quite hard to spot! Think about it – if you feel when you walk in a room everyone is looking at you – admiringly or judgmentally, either way – that is a narcissistic fantasy. Today’s episode follows the other side of grandiosity. Find more here www.therapistuncensored.com/episodes

TU133: Holding Your Own 1: Messy but Secure Relating

Oct 26, 2020

First in a series Holding Your Own with Challenging Personalities – this episode unpacks the 5 types of conflict in couples, conditions to develop security and cornerstones of what makes secure functioning couples secure. This sets up our later episodes on the various types of narcissism, misunderstood borderline relating, antisocial and malignant narcissism, unconscious defenses for everyone involved, suspected causes of high reactivity or impaired empathy, and a focus all along on what you can do to improve your circumstances – whatever that means for you.

TU132: Crisis Exhaustion – Hang in There, it’s Going to Be OK (Eventually) If We Stick Together

Oct 8, 2020

Together we can protect our hearts from freezing in bitterness, drowning in sorrow, lashing out in justified rage or worse, disconnecting. Fight the exhaustion that comes with the relentless crises surrounding us now.