Every couple has its ups and downs, but it’s easy to think that our relationship is uniquely challenging. Experts in couples therapy and a couple themselves, Ellyn Bader and Peter Pearson join co-host Sue Marriott to discuss what most people get wrong about working with couples, and how to help get it right. Together, they’ll dive into the dos and don’ts of couples therapy, from the perspective of the therapist and the patient.
Dive into hook up culture, locker room talk, and the modern shifts in youth sexual behavior and health. Peggy Orenstein unpacks her new book “Boys and Sex” with co-host Ann Kelley. In this peak behind the curtain of the experience of young male sexuality, we’ll see how boys struggle with the conflicting needs of the conquest narrative of sex and their own internal understanding of pleasure. Her book was written about both cis and trans men, and covers the whole spectrum of sexual orientations, backgrounds, and experiences.
TU138: What if it’s You that’s the Difficult One? Holding Your Own Challenging Personality Traits (6 of 6)
So we’ve been studying how to hold our own with challenging people, but what if you become aware that that difficult person is you? Cringe. Yea, us too, we get it. We summarize and review the series and focus on how to change your life for the better. Sue Marriott and Ann Kelley take you along on some personal examples of being difficult themselves.
Accusations are their confessions. In this episode learn why we elect, promote, excuse and love those with malignant narcissist tendencies. Sort out the other forms of self-involvement, psychopathology and anti-social traits from this dangerous personality structure. Sue & Ann finish out their series on Holding Your Own with Challenging Personality Traits – this is session 5 of 6. Find more here www.therapistuncensored.com
When does sensitivity cross the line into clinical reactivity?
Borderline traits, or those with highly reactive personalities, are another common challenge in relationship that we might need support to navigate well.
Today’s episode sees co-hosts Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott unpack high reactivity through a caring and developmental approach. Together, they discuss how these dynamics and traits arise, what they look like, and what we can do when we find ourselves in relationships with them. Find more here www.therapistuncensored.com/episodes
When does self-consciousness and self-reflection cross the line into self-preoccupation? Covert narcissism is also called thin-skinned, vulnerale, depressed or closet narcissism. It’s a real thing but unlike grandiosity, it’s quite hard to spot! Think about it – if you feel when you walk in a room everyone is looking at you – admiringly or judgmentally, either way – that is a narcissistic fantasy. Today’s episode follows the other side of grandiosity. Find more here www.therapistuncensored.com/episodes
First in a series Holding Your Own with Challenging Personalities – this episode unpacks the 5 types of conflict in couples, conditions to develop security and cornerstones of what makes secure functioning couples secure. This sets up our later episodes on the various types of narcissism, misunderstood borderline relating, antisocial and malignant narcissism, unconscious defenses for everyone involved, suspected causes of high reactivity or impaired empathy, and a focus all along on what you can do to improve your circumstances – whatever that means for you.
Together we can protect our hearts from freezing in bitterness, drowning in sorrow, lashing out in justified rage or worse, disconnecting. Fight the exhaustion that comes with the relentless crises surrounding us now.
People are profoundly bad at predicting their own attachment status, and if you are trying to do that you are headed in the right direction. 🙂 That sort of mindful inquiry is part of attachment security – learn more in today’s episode. Bethany Saltman and Sue Marriott discuss the Strange Situation, the original attachment research by Mary Ainsworth. They bring to life what it means and how to see it in everyday life.
Children with high emotional intensity or behavioral struggles can overwhelm any parent or system. In this episode, we’ll go over where many parents go wrong, what we can do instead, and how shifts in our strategies can revolutionize our households.
The Friendship Bench -discover the 3-step community-based program that is has proven to be an effective non-traditional model of mental health care delivery.
In this episode, researcher and program director Dr. Ruth Verhey joins co-host Sue Marriott to discuss this community-based intervention, the Friendship Bench. Together they explore the benefits and barriers to building a community-driven and cooperative approach to mental health. By looking at what makes it effective, we can begin to explore what makes therapy effective in general and learn from the need to strip away the “extra” that may not add value to mental healthcare.
Pausing the riches of the guest interviews, Sue Marriott & Ann Kelley are back to discuss what has changed in the attachment field. They share what makes it modern anyway, review the science, and discuss their Modern Attachment-Regulation Spectrum (MARS). They also cover best practices for getting through online therapy. Learn more at Therapist Uncensored www.therapistuncensored.com and get full shownotes here.
We’re all struggling with some uncertainty and fear right now, and as a parent it can often be especially hard to know how to raise a child during the rise of Coronavirus. Learn the cheat code to parenting in a pandemic with Dr. Dan Siegel and Dr. Tina Bryson as they join co-host Sue Marriott to unpack their new book The Power of Showing Up. In this episode they break down the science behind attachment in parenting, and share what it means to show up. Applicable not just with children but in all relationships, their four pillars of attachment can change the way we relate to ourselves, and each other, for the better.
Hip hop can be used as creative tool to resolve the deep need for self-expression and trauma in black and brown communities. Song writers in hip hop culture are some of the greatest writers of our generation, they can use in depth metaphor, satire, and word play to express widely shared feelings. This process literally gives a voice to experiences that are otherwise unexplainable and can be used to build community. Guests Dr. Eliot Gann and Dr. Raphael Travis show us the way –
Using the science of attachment, mentalization and emotional regulation in the classroom, and in this case, adult learners. A look at the take-aways from a tour of relational science experts, guest Linno Rhodes joins co-host Dr. Ann Kelley as they look at applying the...
Neurobiological differences can be detected between secure and insecure relating, and even between the two organized insecure patterns of attachment (Dismissing and Preoccupied)! Cool, huh!? In this Therapist Uncensored episode, co-hosts and real therapists Dr. Ann...
Learn about the natural neurobiology of co-regulation and it’s capacity to engage safety and heal trauma. In addition, this episode addresses the myth of self-regulation and how to re-engage interpersonal relationships if they’ve been neglected. Therapist...
How Good Boundaries Actually Bring Us Closer Interpersonal co-regulation requires boundary setting. Most of us haven’t been lucky enough to learn to be good at boundary setting naturally, by good examples, so we have to literally be taught how to do this important...
It’s not too late to develop security in yourself, your children and your relationships. With this skill, you can increase attachment security today even without a long-term relationship or years of psychotherapy. Dr. Adkins and co-host Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP walk us...
Speakably Sexy – Communicating to Make Sex Hotter and Relationships More Alive What makes the ins and outs of sexuality so hard to talk aboout? It turns out, if couples do talk about sex, the conversation is often mostly about frequency. However, what is missing are...