Whether it’s projection, appearing to be a “know it all”, power dynamics, ceding, or even being forgetful – we express our subconscious and conscious defenses in multiple ways. Follow along to connect with your own defenses and learn how to healthily disarm your patterns for emotional regulation.
Aggression is not a feeling, it can be positive or negative goal-directed life energy. Learn to use this energy to propel us forward in conversation with guest expert Jeanne Bunker and co-host, Sue Marriott. What is healthy aggression? It can be a resource to help us navigate our personal goals, increase intimacy within our relationships, and to act as a catalyst for change when paired with desire. Follow along as Jeanne Bunker and Sue Marriott break down the negative connotations and provide perspective to harness this resource and help reclaim healthy aggression. Shownotes at www.therapistuncensored.com/186. Join our Neuronerd community at www.therapistuncensored.com/join.
When you unconsciously deem “power” as what keeps you “safe” in vulnerable situations, reflecting and rewiring on this dynamic can transform your connections.
Human defenses are quite necessary to protect our nervous system and sense of self. The goal isn’t to eliminate defenses – but to learn how to regulate them, especially in relationships. Defenses can often feel triggered when there is an uneven power dynamic expressed in a relationship and can be influenced by outside factors like gender socialization, culture, or personal history.
Learn more about autobiographical memory and the hippocampus in managing stress. By blending neuroscience and a 3 R Spiral of change strategy, we can begin to sort through our defenses, rewire how we navigate our world, and move towards healing our relationships. Shownotes at www.therapistuncensored.com/184. Join our Neuronerd private community for an ad-free feed at www.therapistuncensored.com/join.
Ann and Sue get into the nitty gritty of exploring normal human defenses. Using the full body of work from translated relational neuroscience, modern attachment and depth psychology they break down their professional and personal experience moving from armor back to more connected relationality. Shownotes at www.therapistuncensored.com/183 and more episodes at www.therapistuncensored.com/episodes.
We aren’t one thing and getting to know our different parts is an effective technique to deepen healing. These “parts” are metaphorical “little beings” that live in our minds and manifest into physical or emotional reactions from traumatic events. Dr. Frank Anderson has spent decades of his life studying these parts and sharing his findings to help others utilize built-in resources like their “self-energy” to navigate their own traumas. Join us as Sue Marriott and Dr. Anderson weave together psycho-pharmacology, trauma, neuroscience, attachment, and internal family systems. More at www.therapistuncensored.com/episodes
We’ve heard of post-traumatic growth, but what about coping while the trauma is actually happening? Co-host Sue Marriott LCSW CGP and trauma expert Arielle Schwartz, Ph.D. take a deep dive into post-traumatic and peri-traumatic growth. This compassionate conversation is full of excellent resources for enduring when overwhelmed. Learn more about yoga for trauma, somatic therapy and EMDR with these resources. More episodes on modern attachment on neuroscience at www.therapistuncensored.com/episodes
The science of trust is key. Deciding who to trust in today’s world is especially hard – fake news, political polarization and societal strife amplifies our already on guard nervous system. When our trust has been broken, whether early in childhood or in our adult relationships, learning who to trust can prove even more challenging. In today’s episode, Dr. Steve Finn and Dr. Ann Kelley discuss the science behind epistemic trust and why many of us may have broken trust meters. They discuss how trust issues can create a mess in our relationship, whether we are the constant skeptic who resists taking in new information or we tend to trust blindly, without testing or holding healthy doubts. Together they provide deep and compassionate insights into these struggles and how they relate to internal working models. A fan favorite, Dr. Finn returns to bring his years of expertise to our listeners about ways to build curiosity and tools of mentalization, including our ability to handle healthy skepticism. Shownotest at www.therapistuncensored.com/180
This episode explores individualistic thinking and will support you doing the tough internal work to give up power in favor of connection. Utilizing neurobiology, years of research, and professional experience, Terry Real and Ann Kelley break down the history of individualism and the toxic patterns it can hold in our society and in our relationships. Episode notes at www.therapistuncensored.com/180.
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We often focus on being understood through words, but guess what? Words and verbal communication can be mildly irritating to our nervous system. Learn what works and what doesn’t when trying to build closeness and connection with those you love. Tune in for this week’s episode as co-host Sue Marriott and John Howard discuss the power of mindfulness and spirituality on our minds and body, and the lasting roles they play in all types of relationships.
Many of us struggle with hyper-vigilant minds that overwhelm our nervous systems. Some of us overcompensate by habitually tuning out, causing us to miss important information from our bodies and our relationships. Dr. Amishi Jha summarizes the neural bases of attention and the effects of mindfulness-based training programs on cognition, emotion, resilience, and performance.
Co-host Sue Marriott and psychotherapist and relationship expert, Jessica Fern, sit down for a deep dive into the science behind attachment in consensually non monogamous relationships. Tune in to help update your model of what makes a healthy, secure-functioning relationship. More here www.therapistuncensored.com/episodes
Explore compassion from its neurological and societal basis through the Dr. Kristin Neff’s research writings and current conversations. Embrace self-love using the bravery of showing up as your authentic self.
Tune in as we follow up on last week’s episode, and sit down with amygdala expert, Dr. Joseph LeDoux. We discuss the non-conscious versus unconscious, protein synthesis, the differences between fear and threat, and how it all applies in the world of attachment.
Ann and Sue blend their own personal experiences and knowledge of neuroscience to help improve your relationships and integrate healing change within the body. Follow along as they apply all we know about the fear system and the unconscious defense, and cover the misconceptions about how the amygdala is often perceived as the “fear center” of the body.
It’s easy to ignore or not notice the impact of stress and trauma on your body, but this can have a devastating impact on you physically emotionally and also on your relationships. Guest Dr. Elizabeth Stanley knows stress reduction – she had developed a program used by the US military called Mindfulness-based Mind Fitness Training. Co-host Dr. Ann Kelley and Dr. Stanley discuss practical strategies that will help you build resilience, recover from trauma, heal and thrive. Find show notes and more episodes at www.therapistuncensored.com/episodes.
Family Reconciliation & Writing to Heal Trauma, an Update with Laura Davis, co-author of the classic Courage to Heal (171)
Writing courageous words can heal deep wounds. In today’s episode with Courage to Heal author Laura Davis, we discuss reading and writing as part of our therapeutic journey aka bibliotherapy, family reconciliation, mother-daughter bonding and we explore the questionable power of memory. Her new memoire, the Burning Light of 2 Stars, Laura Davis and Sue Marriott have a moving conversation that is surely to bring you the feels.
A theory around trauma is that when it occurs it “gets locked in the nervous system” and the way in which the body stores the trauma – in the form of thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations – can be left fragmented, therefore delaying true healing. Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessings, also known as EMDR, is an evolving science that utilizes bilateral stimulation to help connect the left side of the brain to the right in order to form more cohesive, healing thoughts to better support the healing process. Tune in for this episode as co-host Dr. Ann Kelley and Dr. Parnell take a deep dive into the evolution and successes of EMDR.
Hearing yourself criticized impacts your nervous system no matter if the voice is your own or someone else. Ann and Sue take a deep dive into self-criticism, self attack, and internal criticism of others. They look at how it relates to attachment styles and use it as a window in to unconscious scripts we carry about ourselves and the world. Find more at www.therapistuncensored.com/episodes and join our Neuronerd community at www.therapistuncensored.com/join!
“Call-out culture” – a term coined within the last few years, but a concept that has existed long before. With a society immersed in technology, there are many positives about the seemingly never-ending conversation, but with the increase in connection, there’s also an increase in the ability to speak negatively to and about one another. How do we educate others without tearing them down? In a divided world, changing our approach can help create social change. Loretta J. Ross, an activist, professor, and self-proclaimed “professional feminist” has dedicated years of her life to understanding how and why this culture has evolved. Follow along in her insightful discussion with co-host, Sue Marriott as they explore the intentions behind these actions, the root of the issue, and how to more effectively “call-in” without “calling out” using the “Five C Continuum” process.