Resources
Whether it’s projection, appearing to be a “know it all”, power dynamics, ceding, or even being forgetful – we express our subconscious and conscious defenses in multiple ways. Follow along to connect with your own defenses and learn how to healthily disarm your patterns for emotional regulation.
When you unconsciously deem “power” as what keeps you “safe” in vulnerable situations, reflecting and rewiring on this dynamic can transform your connections.
Human defenses are quite necessary to protect our nervous system and sense of self. The goal isn’t to eliminate defenses – but to learn how to regulate them, especially in relationships. Defenses can often feel triggered when there is an uneven power dynamic expressed in a relationship and can be influenced by outside factors like gender socialization, culture, or personal history.
Learn more about autobiographical memory and the hippocampus in managing stress. By blending neuroscience and a 3 R Spiral of change strategy, we can begin to sort through our defenses, rewire how we navigate our world, and move towards healing our relationships. Shownotes at www.therapistuncensored.com/184. Join our Neuronerd private community for an ad-free feed at www.therapistuncensored.com/join.
We’ve heard of post-traumatic growth, but what about coping while the trauma is actually happening? Co-host Sue Marriott LCSW CGP and trauma expert Arielle Schwartz, Ph.D. take a deep dive into post-traumatic and peri-traumatic growth. This compassionate conversation is full of excellent resources for enduring when overwhelmed. Learn more about yoga for trauma, somatic therapy and EMDR with these resources. More episodes on modern attachment on neuroscience at www.therapistuncensored.com/episodes
The science of trust is key. Deciding who to trust in today’s world is especially hard – fake news, political polarization and societal strife amplifies our already on guard nervous system. When our trust has been broken, whether early in childhood or in our adult relationships, learning who to trust can prove even more challenging. In today’s episode, Dr. Steve Finn and Dr. Ann Kelley discuss the science behind epistemic trust and why many of us may have broken trust meters. They discuss how trust issues can create a mess in our relationship, whether we are the constant skeptic who resists taking in new information or we tend to trust blindly, without testing or holding healthy doubts. Together they provide deep and compassionate insights into these struggles and how they relate to internal working models. A fan favorite, Dr. Finn returns to bring his years of expertise to our listeners about ways to build curiosity and tools of mentalization, including our ability to handle healthy skepticism. Shownotest at www.therapistuncensored.com/180
This episode explores individualistic thinking and will support you doing the tough internal work to give up power in favor of connection. Utilizing neurobiology, years of research, and professional experience, Terry Real and Ann Kelley break down the history of individualism and the toxic patterns it can hold in our society and in our relationships. Episode notes at www.therapistuncensored.com/180.
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We often focus on being understood through words, but guess what? Words and verbal communication can be mildly irritating to our nervous system. Learn what works and what doesn’t when trying to build closeness and connection with those you love. Tune in for this week’s episode as co-host Sue Marriott and John Howard discuss the power of mindfulness and spirituality on our minds and body, and the lasting roles they play in all types of relationships.
Co-host Sue Marriott and psychotherapist and relationship expert, Jessica Fern, sit down for a deep dive into the science behind attachment in consensually non monogamous relationships. Tune in to help update your model of what makes a healthy, secure-functioning relationship. More here www.therapistuncensored.com/episodes
Ann and Sue blend their own personal experiences and knowledge of neuroscience to help improve your relationships and integrate healing change within the body. Follow along as they apply all we know about the fear system and the unconscious defense, and cover the misconceptions about how the amygdala is often perceived as the “fear center” of the body.
Writing courageous words can heal deep wounds. In today’s episode with Courage to Heal author Laura Davis, we discuss reading and writing as part of our therapeutic journey aka bibliotherapy, family reconciliation, mother-daughter bonding and we explore the questionable power of memory. Her new memoire, the Burning Light of 2 Stars, Laura Davis and Sue Marriott have a moving conversation that is surely to bring you the feels.
Do you struggle with self-criticism? Us too! In fact, criticism whether from ourselves or from those around us can be a huge problem for so many of us. Here is where things get interesting. What does this struggle look like based on our attachment style, and how...
We recently had the privilege of interviewing activist, professor, feminist and warrior of reproductive justice and human rights Loretta J. Ross. We are excited to bring you the highlights of that interview below. Loretta is a master of a kind yet powerfully...
“Call-out culture” – a term coined within the last few years, but a concept that has existed long before. With a society immersed in technology, there are many positives about the seemingly never-ending conversation, but with the increase in connection, there’s also an increase in the ability to speak negatively to and about one another. How do we educate others without tearing them down? In a divided world, changing our approach can help create social change. Loretta J. Ross, an activist, professor, and self-proclaimed “professional feminist” has dedicated years of her life to understanding how and why this culture has evolved. Follow along in her insightful discussion with co-host, Sue Marriott as they explore the intentions behind these actions, the root of the issue, and how to more effectively “call-in” without “calling out” using the “Five C Continuum” process.
Learn the 3 C’s of connection and social emotional learning.
Co-host Dr. Ann Kelley and child specialist, Lindsey Kealey dive into strategies for teaching kids how to regulate their emotions and promote positive connection with others. Linsey Kealey has developed a trauma-based, neuroscience-informed program that uses social emotional learning and problem-solving strategies to help all of us make positive decisions and thrive in our relationships. She utilizes the Three C’s method, connect, calm and collaborate, to help transform the way we interact with ourselves and others. They discuss the three C method of connection to help cultivate healthy relationships and positive development in our children. MORE www.therapistuncensored.com/episodes
This is an incredible opportunity to sit with a legend in the field of attachment research! Dr. Carol George worked directly with Mary Main, and her dissertation lead to the Adult Attachment Inventory (AAI). She and Sue Marriott discuss wide-ranging topics all with the eye on using the whole of this research in real life and in the clinical setting. Learn about the Adult Attachment Projective, the history of the research and more about this incredible woman who is a living legend.
This is the second of three episodes on the basics of modern attachment and the attachment-regulation spectrum. Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott break down the red side of the attachment spectrum, anxious attachment. Find more at www.therapistuncensored.com/episodes
This episode replay is packed with cool content which is why we wanted to share it again! Learn about complex trauma, debunk myths of false memories from an expert witness for the prosecutors of child sexual abuse, and revisit the 3 Pillars Model of effective treatment for attachment disturbances, Dr. Daniel Brown!
In this episode Therapist Uncensored co-host Dr. Ann Kelley joins guest Dr. Susan Ansorge to talk about was to communicate about sex.
Unpack the neuroscience of shame with Dr. Stephen Finn and co-hosts, Dr. Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP. It is probably one of your least favorite feelings, but it contains important interpersonal information for us and is a good one to deep-dive around. This is a replay from the archives, but is highly relevant today as nobody is feeling very good about themselves right now.
Interpersonal co-regulation requires boundary-setting. Therapist Uncensored co-hosts Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott join the founder of IPNB Psychotherapy of Austin, Dr. Juliane Taylor Shore, in a discussion on interpersonal neurobiology and regulation. We’ll explore the three types of boundaries, how to co-create them plus how to stay regulated using internalized relationships with the self.
3 videos, 3 handouts, and 7 podcast episodes to get you started on your path toward secure relating.