Our Story

We realize that no matter how nerdy you may be, it’s almost impossible to keep up with and integrate all the emerging sciences involving the interpersonal brain and modern adult attachment. So, we strive to continually find, learn, question, digest and then explain the most useful aspects of the burgeoning relational sciences in easily digestible language (ie. good ole' plain speak). The fields we cover include a lot of fancy-sounding things like infant and adult attachment, relational neuroscience, polyvagal theory, and trauma, but basically we bring you anything we feel will be helpful in healing humans. It's a healthy stew of good information that rests on a base of trusted relational psychology, plus a generous sprinkling of guest experts to keep us honest and to make sure you get the facts from the source. 

In short, we bring you a healthy smorgasborg of good nutrients that if really taken in can be literally life-changing. (OK OK, enough with the food metaphor – we must be hungry or something? )

Here you will find humility over know-it-all certainty. OK that is the easy stuff – for those interested in what makes us tick on a deeper level, read on. 

WE BELIEVE:

We are wholly imperfect and still in the process of healing ourselves.  It is good that we know this, and if somebody presents otherwise, beware. 

We are slow but trainable as we continue to explore and identify internalized isms and phobias. Many of these harmful assumptions and implicit biases reside mostly outside conscious awareness so simply declaring “I am not racist” reveals probably unintended defense, not enlightenment. 

Therapy doesn't solve everything. In fact, it can unintentionally put the focus of pain on the individual when much of what harms humans comes from unhealthy circumstances in their environment that are accepted as normal. Massive income disparity, racism, heterosexism, gender rigidity and institutionalized discrimination of any class of people creates hostile environments that harm the physical and mental well being of the whole community.  Security has to include systematic changes not just focus on the individual. 

Despite being well-meaning, the mental healthcare industry and even private practitioners themselves that are embedded in dominant cultures have implicitly been part of the harm inflicted on those with less power. This part is hard, but let's start with awareness and owning it, otherwise we just continue to be insulated and not part of creating change. 

Psychological theories of human development have been embedded within dominant culture's implicit assumptions about what it means to be normal or healthy.  Attachment theory, developed in the 50's by white European scholars, cannot be excluded even though at the time it was rebelling against the dominant theories in favor of relationality.  Grappling with holding on to the solid science in attachment theory while also incorporating new understanding of cultural inclusivity and context is an important part of evolving our understanding and application of the most well researched psychological theory of human development ever.

WHAT WE MEAN TO DO:

We strive to practice anti-discrimination and anti-racism, and work to dismantle these institutionalized power-over positions where we can identify them and affect change. 

We use our platform to raise funds and awareness for access to mental healthcare for those populations intentionally left behind. We do this because we believe people of all identities, ages and physical abilities deserve equal access to quality mental healthcare. 

We commit to keeping our catalog of this potentially life-changing content freely available for anyone interested, always. This includes those far and wide, way beyond the limits of books, scientific articles, and even good therapists' minds where only a privileged few can gain from it. This is particularly important at this time when fear is being blatantly exploited. We hope to create even the smallest counter-ripple where individuals outsmart their primitive biology of fight, flight, freeze/flop and rise to their full potential for themselves, their families, and their community.

We publicly teach (outside of the podcast) modern attachment and relational neurobiology in various contexts to raise accessibility and awareness of this life-changing science.

We also facilitate the development of a relationally smart, inclusive and curious online community through this FB page, a private FB discussion group, and with our incredibly supportive Neuronerd Patrons, who have an ad-free feed and other perks for as little as $5 a month. 

We welcome you to join us in learning how to overcome your own obstacles and be the person you know you are meant to be.

With love and respect,