Secure Relating Holding Your Own in an Insecure World
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Help shift our collective conversation towards secure relating rather than hopelessness and dysregulation.
So, what is Therapist Uncensored all about?
We have fun translating the complex relational sciences and psychology into understandable and practical tools that can give you the power you need to uncover your best self. (Believe us, your people will be so happy.)
We will help you understand how to recognize and then update unconscious expectations of yourself and others. Applying the science of modern attachment and relational neurobiology can have life-changing impacts on your mind, your choice of partners, your parenting, your social relationships, your work life and how you interact in the world.
Sounds too good to be true, but fortunately the science is very clear, and hopeful… and we want everyone to have access to it.
And as if that's not enough goodness, team Therapist Uncensored is working to dismantle our undeserved privilege in various ways but one is financial. A full 50% (!) of all income from corporate sponsors and merch sales goes to non-profit organizations that provide access to mental health services for those traditionally left out of mainstream healthcare. Our Neuronerd Patrons support the production of the show so that we together can accomplish this mission and help us make it happen, and they also vote at the end of the year for the charity for the year.
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featured Guests
We bring you world-reknown guest experts, as well as outside-the-choir voices, so you may have direct access to updated theory and fresh ideas as they come.
Featured guests include the smartest minds in the relational sciences.
Joseph LaDeux
Arielle Schwartz
Jill Bolte-Tayl0r
Terry Real
Laurel Parnell
Bruce Perry
Kristen Neff
Lou Cossolino
Bonnie Badenoch
Pat Crittendon
Dan Siegel
David Elliott
Ellyn Bader
Dan Brown
Pat Ogden
Esther Perel
Bruce Eckert
Alan Srouf
Nancy McWilliams
Peggy Orenstein
Steve Porges
Tina Payne-Bryson
Deb Dana
Stan Tatkin
Lori Gottlieb
And many, many more deep thinkers and fabulous minds that we interview both to bring you their work, and to continuously integrate new and trusted perspectives into our own thinking and theory of what actually works to heal people.
Stan Tatkin
Steve Finn
Alphonso Appleton
Ellyn Bader
Dan Brown
Jules Shore
Liz Plank
Bonnie Badenoch
Sarah Peyton
Aby Blakely
Deb Dana
Doug Braun-Harvey
Tina Atkins
L Brookins
Pam Greenstone
Robyn Gobbel
Linno Rhodes
The Science of Psychotherapy's Becki Mendivil
Susan Ansorge
Bob Schneider
Download Your Free Attachment Starter Pack
To help you get started, we've pulled together some of our “Attachment Basics”, along with some of our most popular content, and put it all in this bundle for you!
Therapist Uncensored Podcast
Candid unscripted conversations rooted in modern attachment and the newly emerging sciences of the mind will deeply inform, entertain and even surprise you.
Learn how to outsmart your biology and improve your relationships with others.
This podcast will break down what makes you and yours emotionally tick… and tock. So join us, dive in with co-hosts Sue Marriott & Dr. Ann Kelley, as well as their array of rock-star guest experts.
Most Recent Episodes
Journey to Self-Discovery: Navigating Identity & Mental Health as a Korean American Immigrant (241)
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:10:35 — 161.5MB)
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Dr. Ann Kelley and Hyeseung Song, a first-generation Korean American discuss Hyeseung's experiences growing up as an Asian minority in America, touching on topics like racial stereotypes, assimilation, and the model minority myth .Hyeseung shares her journey of finding her voice and identity, highlighting the mental health challenges of navigating between cultures.
Addiction, Attachment & the Felt Sense Polyvagal Model with Jan Winhall – Replay (240)
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 48:27 — 110.9MB)
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Enjoy this replay episode with Jan Winhall, as we explore how our bodies can guide us towards healing and growth through the
concept of “felt sense.” This approach integrates neuroscience and focuses on our innate ability to perceive and respond to our experiences. Winhall's work challenges conventional views on navigating challenges influenced by culture and trauma.
Episode Swap: Secure Relating with Ann & Sue on The Baffling Behavior Show (239)
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:03:19 — 144.9MB)
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One of the many incredible aspects of this community are the people we are able to connect and learn with, like Robyn Gobbel.
She is a licensed social worker, podcast host, keynote speaker, writer, trainer & consultant – and even host launch this spring. This episode, Ann and Sue joined her on her podcast, “The Baffling Behavior Show”, to talk about secure relating.
Managing Intense Feelings for Kids and Grownups with Lindsey Kealey (Replay) – (238)
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (135.4MB)
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As our schedules shift for summer, we think revisiting this episode with expert Lindsey Kealey is the perfect reminder. The warmer weather is great for vacations or some weekend fun in the sun, but we also know that the shift in schedule can be tough for parents and children. Little minds can have big feelings and in the spirit of secure relating, we are taking the opportunity to revisit strategies for teaching kids how to regulate their emotions and promote positive connection with others. Lindsey Kealey introduces a trauma-informed program grounded in neuroscience, employing social-emotional learning and problem-solving techniques to enhance decision-making and relational well-being. Through her Three C's approach – connect, calm, and collaborate – she aims to revolutionize interpersonal dynamics, empowering individuals to interact more positively with themselves and others.
Security Individually, Relationally, and in Community with Ann & Sue 3 of 3 (237)
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 29:08 — 66.7MB)
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This is our final part where we lean into the last section of the book to help us all build a deeper connection, Moving from individual to interpersonal and then societal levels, we discuss the complexities of human connection. Ann and Sue touch on leadership and the need for nuance in navigating today's challenges while aiming to expand beyond just the Western lens. Whether it be with your partner or even how you navigate your community – building security helps us find a state of curiosity, openness, and wonder.
Shifting Activation Levels: Part II of Secure Relating with Ann & Sue (236)
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 26:23 — 60.4MB)
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Following the launch of the book, our virtual party, and our Modern Attachment conference in Austin, TX, Ann and Sue open with gratitude from the event, and for the overwhelming outpour of love and support from our community and those who help inspire this content. As we dive into more chapters of the book, we lean into understanding the attachment spectrum colors, recognizing what is happening internally when we feel activated, and shifting activation levels.
Holding Your Own – Behind the Scenes and Part I of Secure Relating with Ann & Sue (235)
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 51:46 — 118.5MB)
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After years of hard work, Sue and Ann could not be more excited to celebrate the release of their book. Today's episode offers behind the scene's conversation and a deeper dive into Part 1 of the book, Secure Relating Holding Your Own in an Insecure World. You can purchase it now directly at www.securerelatingbook.com and get an ad-free podcast feed at www.therapistuncensored.com/join.
Integrative Attachment Therapy with Dr. David Elliott (234)
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 58:15 — 133.3MB)
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Exactly 100 episodes later, Ann and Sue are thrilled to be back discussing Integrative Attachment theory with Dr. David Elliott. Together they delve into the therapy model's development, centered around three key elements: enhancing collaboration, fostering metacognition, and constructing new internal working models through imagery. Dr. Elliott elaborates on how the therapeutic journey prioritizes the therapeutic alliance, perspective-taking, and employing mental imagery to cultivate fresh attachment dynamics. Despite limited empirical validation, anecdotal evidence suggests its efficacy in symptom reduction and enhancing overall well-being. Ann and Sue share insights into crafting their book and course on attachment insecurity, emphasizing the significance of mental imagery and collaborative engagement in therapy, while underscoring the necessity for more therapists skilled in attachment therapy.
Information Processing: Sunglasses, Early Attachment & More with Ann & Sue (233)
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 47:09 — 107.9MB)
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Ann and Sue are back for another deep dive, this time on all things information processing. Using the concept of sunglasses as a metaphor for information distortion, they explain how our internal working models and attachment experiences shape the way we perceive and interpret information. The sunglasses represent different states of activation, with clear glasses indicating a secure state and aviator sunglasses representing a defensive, self-protective state. Sunglasses can affect our relationships – but they don't have to stop us from building healthy connections. Follow along as we explore the importance of curiosity, self-reflection, and open-mindedness in navigating relationships.
What do you want to learn today?
Meet Your Cohosts
SUE MARRIOTT, LCSW, CGP & ANN KELLY, Ph.D.
Ann Kelley Ph.D. (she/her/hers) and Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP (he/her/hers) are experienced licensed therapists that provide candid and focused education to help you bring awareness to the unconscious patterns in your life that get in your way.
As out, gay married co-hosts they bring in humor and personal insights of the cringy struggle to try to function more securely as a couple, and in the world. They also provide state of the art education, clinical insights, summaries of complex science and their own developed reflections on how to grow through these life-long patterns.
No matter what your history or what your age, there is hope to keep developing your secure self, which helps grow closeness with those you love.
Thank you to Team Therapist Uncensored!
Jack Anderson – Audio Engineer
Catherine Mulder – Project Manager
Ashley Cruz – Production Assistant
Meet Your Cohosts
SUE MARRIOTT, LCSW, CGP & ANN KELLEY, Ph.D.
Ann Kelley Ph.D. (she/her/hers) and Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP (she/her/hers) are experienced licensed therapists that provide candid and focused education to help you bring awareness to the unconscious patterns in your life that get in your way.
As married co-hosts they bring in humor and personal insights of the cringy struggle to try to function more securely as a couple, and in the world. They also provide state of the art education, clinical insights, summaries of complex science and their own developed reflections on how to grow through these life-long patterns.
No matter what your history or what your age, there is hope to keep developing your secure self, which helps grow closeness with those you love.
Deepen your relationships and demystify your own interpersonal blocks by learning how to use the sciences of the mind.
We want to help each of you become a little more secure, not as a feeling but as a neurological fact. If you are interested in learning how to outsmart your biology and transform into the most relational and confident version of you, then you are our people.
Our audience is intentionally wide- it includes everyone from seasoned therapists, students in the field, other professions that can benefit from knowing how to deeply understand people, those injured by early relationships, and those life-long learners interested in staying abreast and helping make the world a little more secure.
