IN THIS EPISODE:
- This episode is the first of a series of foundational pieces we will provide on relational science and building secure relationships.
- Thank you for checking out the show!!
- It has a longer than usual monologue at the beginning but then rolls into the normal 3-way conversation. Hey we are just figuring this stuff out. 🙂
- Main concept – no matter what your history everyone has the capacity to grow secure relationships and improve their sense of security in themselves
- There are three specific structures that affect our sense of well-being
- The prefrontal cortex – functions described in detail
- The hippocampus
- The amygdala
Suggestion: Two-sided walk if your amygdala is activated.
- Walk as far as you want and feel angry and self-righteous. When you get ready and turn around, though, you have to spend the walk back considering the opposing perspective. This engages the PFC.
- Brain plasticity – this is awesome news!
- Our brain structure is formed by patterns in behavior, but those patterns can be changed.
- Knowing that your threat system is activated and seeing our own warning signs allows us to work against responding automatically. It gives us choice, responsiveness.
- Practicing can physically alter the structure of our brain in a way that permanently helps us.
- Stay tunes for more episodes on attachment and how to build secure relationships
Additional resources for this episode:
- John Gottman
- The Seven Principals to Making a Marriage Work… this is one of the basic foundational works from a researcher who is scientifically explaining misery and happiness. for everyone.
- How to Make Love Last – Gottman. A more recent work by this research team.
- This is another Gottman work, but this time on parenting. Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child… for parents.
- These and other resources have been collected for you on our Resources page!