A poignant short story about isolation to connection. There is hope for us all – no matter your attachment history, there is hope for change with relationships. In this episode, Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP shares a specific case about an awkward goose named Felicity as another way of looking at change in attachment. Dan Stern’s paper linked and recommended. Find more at www.therapistuncensored.com
Attachment
Resources
TU141: How We Become the Person’s We Are with Dr. Alan Sroufe, Attachment Through the Lifespan
Leading attachment researcher Dr. Alan Sroufe shares personal reflections of his lifetime of studying attachment from infancy to adulthood. Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP discusses his new book, A Compelling Idea, How We Become the Person’s We Are (2020) and the take away’s from the 40-year and ongoing Minnesota study.
TU139: Boys and Sex, Modern Young Men and Sexuality with Peggy Orenstein
Dive into hook up culture, locker room talk, and the modern shifts in youth sexual behavior and health. Peggy Orenstein unpacks her new book “Boys and Sex” with co-host Ann Kelley. In this peak behind the curtain of the experience of young male sexuality, we’ll see how boys struggle with the conflicting needs of the conquest narrative of sex and their own internal understanding of pleasure. Her book was written about both cis and trans men, and covers the whole spectrum of sexual orientations, backgrounds, and experiences.
TU136: Holding Your Own S4 -“Borderline” Traits (4th in a series)
When does sensitivity cross the line into clinical reactivity?
Borderline traits, or those with highly reactive personalities, are another common challenge in relationship that we might need support to navigate well.
Today’s episode sees co-hosts Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott unpack high reactivity through a caring and developmental approach. Together, they discuss how these dynamics and traits arise, what they look like, and what we can do when we find ourselves in relationships with them. Find more here www.therapistuncensored.com/episodes
TU133: Holding Your Own 1: Messy but Secure Relating
First in a series Holding Your Own with Challenging Personalities – this episode unpacks the 5 types of conflict in couples, conditions to develop security and cornerstones of what makes secure functioning couples secure. This sets up our later episodes on the various types of narcissism, misunderstood borderline relating, antisocial and malignant narcissism, unconscious defenses for everyone involved, suspected causes of high reactivity or impaired empathy, and a focus all along on what you can do to improve your circumstances – whatever that means for you.
TU131 – Strange Situation: Surprising Attachment Science Uncovered, with Bethany Saltman
People are profoundly bad at predicting their own attachment status, and if you are trying to do that you are headed in the right direction. 🙂 That sort of mindful inquiry is part of attachment security – learn more in today’s episode. Bethany Saltman and Sue Marriott discuss the Strange Situation, the original attachment research by Mary Ainsworth. They bring to life what it means and how to see it in everyday life.
TU130 – The Deep Biology of Love – Oxytocin Unpacked, with Research Pioneer Dr. Sue Carter
Love is not a soft feeling, it is “deep biology.” Oxytocin research pioneer Dr. Sue Carter joins co-host Sue Marriott to unravel the mystery of Sue’s favorite neuropeptide. You may have heard of oxytocin in the popular press, it’s often called that “love drug.” You’ll hear that t’s story is a bit more complicated than just that, as it also helps us protect and defend from intruders, and heals our body physically. www.therapistuncensored.com/episodes.
TU128 – Helping the Intense Child: The Nurtured Heart Approach
Children with high emotional intensity or behavioral struggles can overwhelm any parent or system. In this episode, we’ll go over where many parents go wrong, what we can do instead, and how shifts in our strategies can revolutionize our households.
TU126 – What Do We Mean by Modern Attachment? Sue Marriott & Ann Kelley Discuss
Pausing the riches of the guest interviews, Sue Marriott & Ann Kelley are back to discuss what has changed in the attachment field. They share what makes it modern anyway, review the science, and discuss their Modern Attachment-Regulation Spectrum (MARS). They also cover best practices for getting through online therapy. Learn more at Therapist Uncensored www.therapistuncensored.com and get full shownotes here.
TU125 – Dan Siegel & Tina Payne-Bryson: Parenting Under Stress
We’re all struggling with some uncertainty and fear right now, and as a parent it can often be especially hard to know how to raise a child during the rise of Coronavirus. Learn the cheat code to parenting in a pandemic with Dr. Dan Siegel and Dr. Tina Bryson as they join co-host Sue Marriott to unpack their new book The Power of Showing Up. In this episode they break down the science behind attachment in parenting, and share what it means to show up. Applicable not just with children but in all relationships, their four pillars of attachment can change the way we relate to ourselves, and each other, for the better.
TU120: Finding Security and Healing Attachment with Dr. David Elliott
Is this pandemic making your nervous system crunchy? Learn about healing attachment and how to use one of the Elliott and Brown’s 3 pillars of healing attachment to cope during this society-wide emotional hotbox. Using the first pillar of the three pillars of healing attachment, using the imaginings of your mind to leverage security, David explains how this practice can be beneficial during a time where we’re looking for connection to regulate and heal.
TU111: Navigating Narcissistic Relationships – Gaslighting Manipulation and Grandiosity Called Out
You deserve better!! Are you lost in a narcissistic relationship?
The term narcissism is easily tossed around, especially in this world of selfies. However if you are deeply connected to someone with the personality disorder narcissism it is a very real, painful and a seriously disruptive experience. It is also surprisingly difficult to identify when you are immersed in it, and difficult to disengage the pattern of supporting their world-view. We break it down here!
TU108: Judgment and Self-Criticism Unchecked – a Great Interpersonal Defense
Judgment says more about the judg-er than the judg-ee. It’s not Judgement – Bad. It’s Judgment-Interesting. Everybody judges and in truth, we unconsciously evaluate good/bad all the time – both positively and negatively. It’s our brains appraisal system. However...
TU106: What Actually Heals in Therapy with Psychoanalyst Nancy McWilliams
Learn what actually works in therapy. It’s hard to verbalize the problem with “evidence-based” models of care, but renowned psychoanalyst and psychologist Nancy McWilliams does just that. She further describes what happens in quality depth-oriented therapies such as...
TU104: Attachment Science & the Single World With Becki Mendivil (Replay)
Are you sick of hearing about relationships but interested in attachment? (Or want to deepen your understanding of real world application of the relational sciences while you have a good laugh??!) All the single listeners (think Beyonce) heads up! We are going to...
TU103: Curiosity – One of the Most Powerful Tools For Connection (Replay)
Have you ever just sat back and observed a small child as they learn something new? There is this profound sense of awe and wonder with each new discovery they make. Kids are naturally curious. As adults, we tend to take what we know about the world for granted. But,...
TU102: Finding Neurological Safety through Relationships, with Guest Bonnie Badenoch (Replay)
The Power of Co-Regulation Explore the myth of self-regulation, the natural neurobiology of co-regulation and it’s capacity to engage safety and heal trauma. Learn about using interpersonal neurobiology (IPNB) and Polyvagal Theory to establish safety and security in...
TU101: Treating Attachment Disruptions in Adults With David Elliott (Replay)
We knew we had to interview Dr. Elliott upon finding his book, Attachment Disturbances in Adults, Treatment for Comprehensive Repair(2016). It immediately became Sue’s current favorite read and that is saying a lot! We cover quite a lot in this podcast, especially...
TU100: Reflections and Favorites From 100 Episodes
100 Episodes and Going Strong! A Review of Our Most Popular and Referenced Episodes Tune in for a review of our listener’s favorite episodes and back stories about the evolution of Therapist Uncensored with co-hosts Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott. This is a show hosted...
TU98: Dive Deeper into a Model of Attachment Science (the DMM) by Ann Kelley & Sue Marriott
Dive deeper into this new (to us) model of interpreting attachment science and discover how to apply it into your daily life. Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP and Ann Kelley PhD have fun breaking down the last two episodes where Dr. Patricia Crittenden so generously shared her...