TU119: For the Love of Men, Rethinking Masculinity with Liz Plank

by | Apr 8, 2020 | Current Events, In The News, & Pop Culture, Episodes, Guest Interviews, Personal Growth, Relationships, Sexuality & Gender

Show Notes

It isn't a war between the genders, it's a war between those interested in freedom of individual expression and equality, and those wedded to and defending the patriarchal script.

“I measure activism based on impact… .” – Liz Plank

In this episode, co-host Sue Marriott speaks with Liz Plank, one of the worlds most powerful and influential voices for gender and policy.

Who is Liz Plank?

Liz Plank is an award-winning journalist and senior producer at Vox Media. Her TedxTalk, How to Be a Man: A Woman's Guide inspired her first book, For the Love of Men: A New Vision for Mindful Masculinity, where she “offers a smart, insightful, and deeply-researched guide for what we're all going to do about toxic masculinity. For both women looking to guide the men in their lives and men who want to do better and just don’t know how.”

Mediaite's Most Influential in New Media

50 Most Influential Women by Marie Claire

Forbes' 30 Under 30 in Media

Episode 119 Show Notes:

Why do we need more storytelling around men?

  • More progress regarding issues around domestic & sexual violence if men were more involved in the conversation.
  • Human rights are not a finite resource and when there is more equality, the better it is for everyone.
  • Open the conversation for men to talk about masculinity and what it means to be a man because they do not feel safe doing so.
  • Having an empathic conversation about feminism that includes all genders, a movement that benefits the whole society.

Rewriting Gender Roles

  • The lack of conversations regarding masculinity between men.
  • Following gender roles based on societal pressures and family development.
  • Exploring historical and cultural examples of how gender roles change and vary to give men permission to explore their identity.
  • A shift in the younger generation being accepting of gender fluidity.

What It Means To Be A Man

  • Identifying as a provider when many jobs traditionally done by men are disappearing or moving overseas.
  • Starting to have the opportunity to have an identity outside of their career.
  • Have both genders shoulder the emotional burden and do the work to heal.

Narcissism & Toxic Masculinity

  • There is a higher percentage of narcissism in men.
  • Have more female leadership represented in entertainment & media to provide an understanding of female complexity.

Education

  • Encouraging curriculum that teaches anti-violence, anti-sexual assault, verbal consent, emotional intelligence, and interpersonal relationships.
  • A universal understanding that we all experience similar emotions and social anxiety so we can all advocate for each other.

Liz's Influence:

  • Wanting to measure her activism based on impact.
  • Wanting everyone to feel welcome to this conversation on masculinity and help men go through their emotional labor.
  • Continue to open the conversation for men of influence to discuss masculinity openly.

Masculinity Influence:

  • Brad Pitt speaking openly about masculinity to give others permission to do the same.
  • Tim Ferriss expressing that external performance is not where “success” is and inner work is the harder challenge but more important.

Liz’s Recommendations:

The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love by Bell Hooks

Thomas Page McBee

Wade Davis

Learn about and connect with Liz:

For the Love of Men: A New Vision for Mindful Masculinity

TED Talk How to Be a Man, A Woman's Guide

Twitter

Instagram

Web Series

_____

Our course on Attachment and NeuroscienceIt's Not Me It's My Amygdala, is now available to everyone! Four (!) hours of curated content on modern attachment and healing. It is designed for anyone wanting to deepen security in themselves or those close to you (CE's available for clinicians).

You've been interested enough to listen and dig into the shownotes, so you are are people and we are yours. Get 10% of the course with code: OURCLAN. 🙂

CLICK HERE TO CHECK OUT THE COURSE

______

Want to help Therapist Uncensored keep going?

We are on Patreon!

You can become a Neuronerd supporter and help the show continue to grow!

Join our exclusive community of Therapist Uncensored Neuronerds for as little as $5 a month (or become a Co-executive Producer for $25/month)!

Increase your access, join a kick-ass like-minded community, get discounts on our courses and get exclusive content.

Help us create a ripple of security by supporting us in freely sharing the science of relationships around the globe!

NEURONERDS UNITE! Click here to sign up.

 

BOOK of the MONTH – get it on audible for free right here

For the Love of Men A New Vision for Mindful Masculinity by Liz Plank

 

Recent Episodes

Episode Swap: Secure Relating with Ann & Sue on The Baffling Behavior Show (239)

Episode Swap: Secure Relating with Ann & Sue on The Baffling Behavior Show (239)

One of the many incredible aspects of this community are the people we are able to connect and learn with, like Robyn Gobbel.
She is a licensed social worker, podcast host, keynote speaker, writer, trainer & consultant – and even host launch this spring. This episode, Ann and Sue joined her on her podcast, “The Baffling Behavior Show”, to talk about secure relating.

read more
Managing Intense Feelings for Kids and Grownups with Lindsey Kealey (Replay) – (238)

Managing Intense Feelings for Kids and Grownups with Lindsey Kealey (Replay) – (238)

As our schedules shift for summer, we think revisiting this episode with expert Lindsey Kealey is the perfect reminder. The warmer weather is great for vacations or some weekend fun in the sun, but we also know that the shift in schedule can be tough for parents and children. Little minds can have big feelings and in the spirit of secure relating, we are taking the opportunity to revisit strategies for teaching kids how to regulate their emotions and promote positive connection with others. Lindsey Kealey introduces a trauma-informed program grounded in neuroscience, employing social-emotional learning and problem-solving techniques to enhance decision-making and relational well-being. Through her Three C’s approach – connect, calm, and collaborate – she aims to revolutionize interpersonal dynamics, empowering individuals to interact more positively with themselves and others.

read more
Security Individually, Relationally, and in Community with Ann & Sue 3 of 3 (237)

Security Individually, Relationally, and in Community with Ann & Sue 3 of 3 (237)

This is our final part where we lean into the last section of the book to help us all build a deeper connection, Moving from individual to interpersonal and then societal levels, we discuss the complexities of human connection. Ann and Sue touch on leadership and the need for nuance in navigating today’s challenges while aiming to expand beyond just the Western lens. Whether it be with your partner or even how you navigate your community – building security helps us find a state of curiosity, openness, and wonder.

read more
Shifting Activation Levels: Part II of Secure Relating with Ann & Sue (236)

Shifting Activation Levels: Part II of Secure Relating with Ann & Sue (236)

Following the launch of the book, our virtual party, and our Modern Attachment conference in Austin, TX, Ann and Sue open with gratitude from the event, and for the overwhelming outpour of love and support from our community and those who help inspire this content. As we dive into more chapters of the book, we lean into understanding the attachment spectrum colors, recognizing what is happening internally when we feel activated, and shifting activation levels.

read more
Holding Your Own – Behind the Scenes and Part I of Secure Relating with Ann & Sue (235)

Holding Your Own – Behind the Scenes and Part I of Secure Relating with Ann & Sue (235)

After years of hard work, Sue and Ann could not be more excited to celebrate the release of their book. Today’s episode offers behind the scene’s conversation and a deeper dive into Part 1 of the book, Secure Relating Holding Your Own in an Insecure World. You can purchase it now directly at www.securerelatingbook.com and get an ad-free podcast feed at www.therapistuncensored.com/join.

read more
Integrative Attachment Therapy with Dr. David Elliott (234)

Integrative Attachment Therapy with Dr. David Elliott (234)

Exactly 100 episodes later, Ann and Sue are thrilled to be back discussing Integrative Attachment theory with Dr. David Elliott. Together they delve into the therapy model’s development, centered around three key elements: enhancing collaboration, fostering metacognition, and constructing new internal working models through imagery. Dr. Elliott elaborates on how the therapeutic journey prioritizes the therapeutic alliance, perspective-taking, and employing mental imagery to cultivate fresh attachment dynamics. Despite limited empirical validation, anecdotal evidence suggests its efficacy in symptom reduction and enhancing overall well-being. Ann and Sue share insights into crafting their book and course on attachment insecurity, emphasizing the significance of mental imagery and collaborative engagement in therapy, while underscoring the necessity for more therapists skilled in attachment therapy.

read more
Information Processing: Sunglasses, Early Attachment & More with Ann & Sue (233)

Information Processing: Sunglasses, Early Attachment & More with Ann & Sue (233)

Ann and Sue are back for another deep dive, this time on all things information processing. Using the concept of sunglasses as a metaphor for information distortion, they explain how our internal working models and attachment experiences shape the way we perceive and interpret information. The sunglasses represent different states of activation, with clear glasses indicating a secure state and aviator sunglasses representing a defensive, self-protective state. Sunglasses can affect our relationships – but they don’t have to stop us from building healthy connections. Follow along as we explore the importance of curiosity, self-reflection, and open-mindedness in navigating relationships.

read more
The Neuroscience Behind Our Collective Dysregulation: Navigating Today’s Social Crisis (232)

The Neuroscience Behind Our Collective Dysregulation: Navigating Today’s Social Crisis (232)

We can understand our social pain by considering the nervous system, just think of it as a collective amygdala hijack!  Threat is pressing us to live in an alarm state and then we get used to it, as if it’s normal to be so divided, hopeless and disdainful to those who are holding different positions in the world. We need to cultivate secure (mature) relating to move ourselves back into a social, relational place that makes us more generous, compassionate and able to work with complexity to stay engaged to solve some of these pressing world and community issues. Keep hope alive! Iwww.therapistuncensored.com/join

read more
Hypnosis for Healing: Understanding the Powerful Science with Dr. David Spiegel (231)

Hypnosis for Healing: Understanding the Powerful Science with Dr. David Spiegel (231)

Join Dr. Ann Kelley and Dr. David Spiegel as they dive into the benefits and misconceptions of hypnosis. Hypnosis is a state of highly focused attention and cognitive flexibility, allowing individuals to explore new possibilities. Whether it’s trouble with sleep, intense anxiety, or a need to break bad habits, hypnosis has proven to be an effective tool for many. Dr. Spiegel has dedicated years of research and emphasizes the importance of accessibility to hypnosis in our healthcare systems. His app R E V E R I has over 1 million downloads and allows you to rewire your brain, conquer negative habits, and achieve personal growth from home.

read more
Mind, Body, Heart, Spirit: Embodying Liberation Psychology with Dr. Shena Young (230)

Mind, Body, Heart, Spirit: Embodying Liberation Psychology with Dr. Shena Young (230)

Join co-host Sue Marriott and Dr. Shena Young as they dive into liberation psychology and the conflict between intuition and the traditional European model of psychology. Dr. Shena highlights embodying a holistic approach to help heal traumas and deeply root us in our most authentic selves. Whether through connections with nature and/or the exploration of ancestral traditions, this discussion is enriched with various opportunities to reconnect and liberate our mind, body, heart, and spirit.

read more
Setting Boundaries that Stick with Juliane Taylor Shore (229)

Setting Boundaries that Stick with Juliane Taylor Shore (229)

We’re back with long-time friend of the podcast and expert, Juliane Taylor Shore LMFT, LPC, SEP. As we reflect on our episode from six years ago on boundaries, we dive into new knowledge and how we can create boundaries that stick. Juliane Taylor Shore blends
her original methods like “the jello wall” with new research to share exciting and thoughtful insight on how through boundaries we can harness compassion in our relationships with others and ourselves.

read more
Decolonizing Mental Health Delivery with Melody Li (Part 2, Episode 228)

Decolonizing Mental Health Delivery with Melody Li (Part 2, Episode 228)

This is part two of a two-part series with the founder of Inclusive Therapists, Melody and TU Co-host, Sue Marriott. This episode features challenging yet important conversations on active anti-racist practices, exploration of oppression, and dismantling whiteness in mental health structures. Melody emphasizes the need for white clinicians to examine their own complicity in upholding oppressive systems and to listen to and center the experiences of marginalized communities. They also highlight the interconnectedness of healing and the power of collective liberation through rehumanizing.

read more

What else do you want to learn today?

Get Your Modern Attachment-Regulation Spectrum (MARS)Bundle

3 videos, 3 handouts, and 7 podcast episodes to get you started on your path toward secure relating.

Success! Please check your inbox to confirm your subscription and access your starter pack.

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This