TU66: Lessons from the Single-Not-Dating World on Using Attachment Science in Real Life, with Guest Becki Mendivil

by | Jun 4, 2018 | Attachment, Episodes, Parenting, Personal Growth, Relationships, Sexuality & Gender

Show Notes

Afraid of interacting at work? Candid and hilarious conversation about how the relational sciences translates to work and parenting, by a listener ready to challenge the premise.

Are you sick of hearing about relationships but interested in attachment? (Or want to deepen your understanding of real world application of the science while you have a good laugh??!  All the single listeners (think Beyonce!) heads up. We are going to break down attachment theory and apply the cool science for all of us….

Continuing in the series on adult attachment, co-host Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP joins Becki Mendivil in a spunky wild conversation about how attachment affects someone who isn’t in a romantic relationship nor is seeking one, but simply as an individual and a human being. We’ll chat about personal experiences with attachment with a wide array of anecdotal examples and dive into the essentials of not remaining in one spot on the attachment spectrum.

Becki is self-described as “very blue” so this episode is especially great for those that linger on the avoidant end of the spectrum. Just try not to laugh and learn as it unfolds!

If you like this you’ll want to be sure and listen to our attachment series, check out Therapist Uncensored home page  and scroll down to the attachment category. Recent episodes 58, 59 and 60 will catch you up to speed!

Introduction

The problem of assuming someone’s in or seeking a romantic relationship when discussing adult attachment

Becki’s giving Therapist Uncensored hosts the what-what on how she reads what we’ve said so far

Generational transference of attachment

15:00-30:00

Becki’s experience in listening to the avoidant attachment episode of Therapist Uncensored

Seeing the light!

Becki’s exeriments to test if this model is actually useful or not. Daughter example. Empathetic silliness unfolds.

Sue’s anecdote about her son and changes in attachment

Becki affecting change in her physical isolation at work – confronting Sue on therapizing her 🙂

30:00-45:00

Becki’s wild move towards interacting more directly with peers (!)

Avoiding attachment labels/categories as strict definitions of a person

Navigating up and down the spectrum of attachment in response to varying types of threats

45:00-60:00

Attachment disruptions

Idea of the “corkscrew”

Wrap up and outro

 

Resources:

Adult Attachment Styles in the Workplace – Harms, 2011 article

Integrating attachment syle, vigor at work and extra-role performance at work -Little, et al 2011 article

Individual differences in Work-Related Well Being, the Role of Attachment 2014

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