TU83: Establishing Neurological Safety through Relationships with Guest Bonnie Badenoch

by | Nov 6, 2018 | Attachment, Brain Science, Emotional Intelligence, Episodes, Guest Interviews, Neuroscience, Relationships, Therapy, Trauma

Show Notes

Learn about the natural neurobiology of co-regulation and it’s capacity to engage safety and heal trauma. In addition, this episode addresses the myth of self-regulation and how to re-engage interpersonal relationships if they’ve been neglected.

Therapist Uncensored co-host Sue Marriott LCSW CGP chats with author and therapist Bonnie Badenoch about the concept of using safety to reshape your neural landscape through authentic relationships. Badenoch guides us through her progression of building a bridge between science and practice to cultivate the best therapeutic mind.

You’ll learn how exercising “happy humility” and compassion can allow for an ideal presence in our day-to-day life using our autonomic nervous system. Also, special hats off to Steve Porges and polyvagal theory.

0:00-30:00

What creates safety? How do our internal systems want us to be received?

Sympathetic activation happens when there’s a need to control something in light of an obstacle.

Internal systems challenge to remain in an open and receptive state. Polyvagal theory and Steve Porges.

How can we explore the relationship between safety and curiosity and best use the language of “safety,” versus “comfort” and “discomfort”, especially towards the beginning of therapy and in new relationships?

Badenoch contends that there’s no such thing as a maladaptive experience; that humans are always adaptive and require co-regulation.

What’s the difference between co-regulation and auto-regulation? Is there a “myth” of self-regulation? Discussion of ideal parent figure protocol.

Badenoch explores the connection between co-regulation, neural circuitry and forging relationships in your life.

30:00-60:00

Social Baseline Theory is what happens to our perceptions when someone we trust is with us. The difficulty and pain of tasks is always reduced when we’re with a trusted beloved and this relaxes our amygdala response.

Badenoch walks us through her experience of feeling safe during and between client sessions.

It’s key to have mutual, caring, receptive relationships with people who are willing to listen rather than jump in and try to offer advice. Young therapists.

Everyone’s doing the best they can with what they have in their neural make up but how can we embody a therapeutic presence in the world through compassion or a “happy humility”?

Resources:

A Symphony of Gifts From Relational Neuroscience (1) Excellent PDF from Bonnie Badenoch

Being a Brain-Wise Therapist: A Practical Guide to Interpersonal Neurobiology [2008] Badenoch 

The Brain-Savvy Therapist’s Workbook [2011] Badenoch 

The Heart of Trauma: Healing the Embodied Brain in the Context of Relationships [2017] Badenoch

The Heart of Trauma Healing the Embodied Brain in the Context of Relationships by Steve Porges!

 

For our listeners!

We’ve partnered with Audible so that our listeners get a free audio book and 30 days free membership, cancel at anytime!

GET MY FREE BOOK HERE

We are now part of Patreon! Become a Supernerd, an Out and Proud Supernerd or become a Platinum Neuronerd! 🙂 

For as little as $5 a month you can join our exclusive community of Therapist Uncensored Supernerds to gain private, more in-depth episodes AND to support production of this podcast to provide access to the science of relationships across the globe.  

YES SIGN ME UP FOR PATREON, OR FIND OUT MORE, click here!

Recent Episodes

Information Processing: Sunglasses, Early Attachment & More with Ann & Sue (233)

Information Processing: Sunglasses, Early Attachment & More with Ann & Sue (233)

Ann and Sue are back for another deep dive, this time on all things information processing. Using the concept of sunglasses as a metaphor for information distortion, they explain how our internal working models and attachment experiences shape the way we perceive and interpret information. The sunglasses represent different states of activation, with clear glasses indicating a secure state and aviator sunglasses representing a defensive, self-protective state. Sunglasses can affect our relationships – but they don’t have to stop us from building healthy connections. Follow along as we explore the importance of curiosity, self-reflection, and open-mindedness in navigating relationships.

read more
The Neuroscience Behind Our Collective Dysregulation: Navigating Today’s Social Crisis (232)

The Neuroscience Behind Our Collective Dysregulation: Navigating Today’s Social Crisis (232)

We can understand our social pain by considering the nervous system, just think of it as a collective amygdala hijack!  Threat is pressing us to live in an alarm state and then we get used to it, as if it’s normal to be so divided, hopeless and disdainful to those who are holding different positions in the world. We need to cultivate secure (mature) relating to move ourselves back into a social, relational place that makes us more generous, compassionate and able to work with complexity to stay engaged to solve some of these pressing world and community issues. Keep hope alive! Iwww.therapistuncensored.com/join

read more
Hypnosis for Healing: Understanding the Powerful Science with Dr. David Spiegel (231)

Hypnosis for Healing: Understanding the Powerful Science with Dr. David Spiegel (231)

Join Dr. Ann Kelley and Dr. David Spiegel as they dive into the benefits and misconceptions of hypnosis. Hypnosis is a state of highly focused attention and cognitive flexibility, allowing individuals to explore new possibilities. Whether it’s trouble with sleep, intense anxiety, or a need to break bad habits, hypnosis has proven to be an effective tool for many. Dr. Spiegel has dedicated years of research and emphasizes the importance of accessibility to hypnosis in our healthcare systems. His app R E V E R I has over 1 million downloads and allows you to rewire your brain, conquer negative habits, and achieve personal growth from home.

read more
Mind, Body, Heart, Spirit: Embodying Liberation Psychology with Dr. Shena Young (230)

Mind, Body, Heart, Spirit: Embodying Liberation Psychology with Dr. Shena Young (230)

Join co-host Sue Marriott and Dr. Shena Young as they dive into liberation psychology and the conflict between intuition and the traditional European model of psychology. Dr. Shena highlights embodying a holistic approach to help heal traumas and deeply root us in our most authentic selves. Whether through connections with nature and/or the exploration of ancestral traditions, this discussion is enriched with various opportunities to reconnect and liberate our mind, body, heart, and spirit.

read more
Setting Boundaries that Stick with Juliane Taylor Shore (229)

Setting Boundaries that Stick with Juliane Taylor Shore (229)

We’re back with long-time friend of the podcast and expert, Juliane Taylor Shore LMFT, LPC, SEP. As we reflect on our episode from six years ago on boundaries, we dive into new knowledge and how we can create boundaries that stick. Juliane Taylor Shore blends
her original methods like “the jello wall” with new research to share exciting and thoughtful insight on how through boundaries we can harness compassion in our relationships with others and ourselves.

read more
Decolonizing Mental Health Delivery with Melody Li (Part 2, Episode 228)

Decolonizing Mental Health Delivery with Melody Li (Part 2, Episode 228)

This is part two of a two-part series with the founder of Inclusive Therapists, Melody and TU Co-host, Sue Marriott. This episode features challenging yet important conversations on active anti-racist practices, exploration of oppression, and dismantling whiteness in mental health structures. Melody emphasizes the need for white clinicians to examine their own complicity in upholding oppressive systems and to listen to and center the experiences of marginalized communities. They also highlight the interconnectedness of healing and the power of collective liberation through rehumanizing.

read more
Decolonizing Mental Health Delivery with Melody Li (Part 1, Episode 227)

Decolonizing Mental Health Delivery with Melody Li (Part 1, Episode 227)

series with the founder of Inclusive Therapists, Melody and TU Co-host, Sue Marriott. We are pushing for more inclusive, anti-racist, and decolonialized practices.The conversation is  challenging but important as we explore liberation psychology that helps us recognize and unlearn patterns of thinking that are rooted in colonization and European Western education. You may not agree with everything this guest says but you will learn something and likely feel quite a lot. Discomfort is a necessary part of liberating ourselves from engrained traditional patriarchal and white supremist thinking that continues to harm so many. Don’t forget to help us reach our goal – if you appreciate TU, then please pre-order your copy of Secure Relating today & help raise the bar of secure relating in the world. www.SecureRelatingBook.com

read more
A Neuroscience-Proven Expressive Writing Protocol with Dr. James Pennebaker (225)

A Neuroscience-Proven Expressive Writing Protocol with Dr. James Pennebaker (225)

Co-hosts Ann and Sue discuss this powerful tool directly with the original researcher, Dr. James Pennebaker. While expressive writing is not a simple “elixir” to cure mental or physical illness, Dr. Pennebaker has dedicated years of research and found it to be an effective method of healing for many people. Going straight for the hardest memory is hard, but replicates many techniques used by therapists yet without the cost and accessibility barriers. www.therapistuncensored.com/tu225. www.securerelatingbook.com

read more
How Good Boundaries Actually Bring Us Closer, with Juliane Taylor Shore – REPLAY (224)

How Good Boundaries Actually Bring Us Closer, with Juliane Taylor Shore – REPLAY (224)

Interpersonal co-regulation requires boundary-setting. Therapist Uncensored co-hosts Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott join the founder of IPNB Psychotherapy of Austin, Dr. Juliane Taylor Shore, in a discussion on interpersonal neurobiology and regulation. We’ll explore the three types of boundaries, how to co-create them plus how to stay regulated using internalized relationships with the self.

read more
Believing Chronic Fatigue – Living with Long Covid, ME/CFS (Myalgic Encepholomyelitis) and Hard to Diagnose Chronic Illnesses (223)

Believing Chronic Fatigue – Living with Long Covid, ME/CFS (Myalgic Encepholomyelitis) and Hard to Diagnose Chronic Illnesses (223)

25.6% of adults who have had COVID-19 report having experienced long Covid (source). While there are a variety of symptoms and severities that come with the illness, it doesn’t
erase the physical and mental toll it can take on one’s life. In this episode, Ann and Sue take their research as well as personal experience with the illness and discuss the stigmas, advocating for your health, being a supportive caregiver, and secure relating in regards to chronic disease.

read more
Trailblazers in Love: Understanding & Advocating for the LGBTQ+ Community with Jeff Lutes (222)

Trailblazers in Love: Understanding & Advocating for the LGBTQ+ Community with Jeff Lutes (222)

We are kicking off the new year with a special conversation between co-host Sue Marriott and special guest Jeff Lutes. Both members of the LGBTQ+ community, this discussion dives into raising families, the evolution of the community, allyship, gender, and the importance of advocacy. While there has been some progress, the LGBTQ+ community still actively faces discrimination. Whether you’re a practicing therapist with clients in the community or have LGBTQ-identifying loved ones, this episode is for you. Through a personal and professional lens, this conversation offers new perspectives and shines a light on the significance of staying educated and being an active voice.

read more

What else do you want to learn today?

Get Your Modern Attachment-Regulation Spectrum (MARS)Bundle

3 videos, 3 handouts, and 7 podcast episodes to get you started on your path toward secure relating.

Success! Please check your inbox to confirm your subscription and access your starter pack.

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This