TU82: The Paradox of Masculinity with Guest Esther Perel

by | Oct 24, 2018 | Current Events, In The News, & Pop Culture, Episodes, Guest Interviews, Relationships, Sexuality & Gender

Show Notes

Can men be BOTH Relational and Masculine? It couldn’t be a more important time for thoughtful, honest, and provocative discussion on what it means to be a man in today’s culture. Perel makes a case that men are both harmed by the existing power structures and perpetuate harm by the codes imposed on them by all of us. In 2018 there are many contentious ideas about masculinity and “the male code” including confusion by men about how to hold themselves out as safe and masculine during this time of #MeToo and Kavanaugh.

Esther Perel, named by Oprah as one of the 100 Supersoul visionaries joins Therapist Uncensored’s hosts Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott in a daring discussion about the modern man at the precipice of historic mid-term elections in the United States. Can women discuss this without “womensplaining” and what is the difference? Well there certainly is… Find out by hitting play!

Perel also gives a glimpse into the backstory of her next Sessions Live event, the Masculinity Paradox

Second annual Sessions Live: “The Masculinity Paradox” sign up here.

What is it – check it out below:

Debates around patriarchy, gender equality, toxic masculinity, fatherhood and changing sexual dynamics surround us like fog, throwing us into an unusual time of transition, confusion and trouble.

This one-day Sessions 2018 clinical event and workshop is built on the premise that if we support change in the emotional lives of men, it inevitably changes the lives of their partners.

Drawing from psychology, trauma theory, family systems therapy, and anthropology, The Masculinity Paradox provides an essential multidisciplinary training on the current cultural crisis of gender relations — and its unique potential to change and improve the lives of all.


Episode notes:


Perel discusses her interest in the topic of men as well as the ability to discuss others in general and encourages women to talk about masculinity and men to talk about femininity.

Perel previews what her “Sessions Live” events are like.

Perel reflects on under/over-representation in certain fields and how she can better provide a platform for unheard voices.

Perel’s definition of the modern man and modern masculinity as a win-or-lose mentality. Perel breaks down “the male code”. What are the pressures put on men in society and in relationships?


Expectations of change compared with ambivalence towards change. Emotional afflictions of women can be considered worse for men because society deems that they are not supposed to have these feelings.

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Check out our free YouTube video on using the attachment spectrum:  Modern Adult Attachment 101 to learn more

Want more like this?

Sexual Vitality 6 Principles of Sexual Health with Doug Braun-Harvey


Masculinity Paradox livestream

Where Should We Begin?  Esther Perel’s podcast

Find here here: estherperel.com 

How to fix the fights you are sick of having by Esther Perel

The State of Affairs, Rethinking Infidelity by Esther Perel

Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel

I’ve Had Better Audiobook by Esther Perel

Sessions – a community for Couples Therapists Coaches and Educators

Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life – Emily Nagoski





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