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Loving someone with cumulative and complex relational injuries can be challenging. Learn to manage the impacted neurobiology and relational wounds. This episode addresses both children and adults with complicated attachment histories and gives ideas about how to manage.
Whether it’s your own history or someone you love, let’s be honest – it can be challenging at times to be in very close relationships when early attachment injuries have been layered and ongoing and unaddressed. Threat and unrepaired relational ruptures are encoded in our biology and our neurological systems.
Child and Family Therapist Robyn Gobbel, LCSW joins co-host Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP for a discussion on complex trauma and the importance of boundaries and depersonalizing, especially as a parent. You’ll learn how to best communicate between your partner and child when things get tense and how best to employ structured nurture and scaffolding in those relationships.
Robyn Gobbel – Robyn is the founder of Central Texas Attachment & Trauma Center and specializes in adoption, attachment, and trauma. She leads webinars for parents and clinicians and will be releasing a new podcast soon! Stay tuned!
Related episodes: Episode 23 Building Grit Through Self-Compassion with Kristen Neff
and Episode 51 Conquer Shame by Understanding the Science Behind the Feeling with Steve Finn
0:00-15:00
Introduction
Defining “trauma” and the difficulties in doing so
Neurobiology of trauma
Complex Trauma
Trauma in relationships
Gobbel’s interest in trauma
Gobbel’s focus on working with children, starting early when individual is in safe family space and setting groundwork for the future
15:00-30:00
Listener question about multigenerational trauma
Self-compassion, acknowledging complex history
Importance of being able to look back and repair rather than aim to be perfect all the time
What happens when one parent/partner is regulated and the other isn’t. If intervention is necessary make sure it’s about compassion rather than accusing the partner of messing up.
What Gobbel has learned from working with parents, children and families: When curiosity and compassion open up, ability to repair greatly increases
Steve Finn and moving from shame to guilt; shame is inherent in complex trauma
Structured Nurture and finding the right balance
30:00-45:00
Importance of ability to depersonalize, particularly as a parent, in order to have delight around your children
Understanding and how to best employ “scaffolding” in yourself and with your children
Wrap Up
Resources
It’s Not You But What Happened to You
by Chrisitine Courtois
Treating Complex Trauma a Sequenced Relationship-based Approach
By Christine Courtois Julian Ford
Edited by Joy Hasler and Anthea Hendry
Contact Robyn:
http://centraltexasattachmenttrauma.com/
https://www.gobbelcounseling.com/
