Navigating Power Dynamics, Disarming Human Defenses with Ann & Sue: Session 3 of 5 (185)

by | Sep 13, 2022 | Brain Science, Emotional Intelligence, Episodes, Narcissism, Neuroscience, Relationships, Sexuality & Gender, Therapy | 0 comments

Show Notes

Power can be associated with safety, but when misused it can also be a key indicator of a lack of emotional security and a common defensive move. We call it power over versus empowered with and it's a tricky move because it's so supported culturally we frequently don't realize we are taking over.

This is the 3rd episode in a series of 5.  You can start anywhere but if you prefer to start at the beginning of the series click here for Session 1 or here for Session 2.

Join us for free therapy boot camp by going through this series and reflecting on how you relate and what patterns you might want to change interpersonally.

When you unconsciously deem “power” as what keeps you “safe” in vulnerable situations, reflecting and rewiring on this dynamic can transform your connections.
Human defenses are quite necessary to protect our nervous system and sense of self. The goal isn't to eliminate defenses – but to learn how to regulate them, especially in relationships. Defenses can often feel triggered when there is an uneven power dynamic expressed in a relationship and can be influenced by outside factors like gender socialization, culture, or personal history.

Tune in as Ann and Sue reflect on their own experiences, shame, and navigating power dynamics to form deeper connections. Shownotes at www.therapistuncensored.com/185 Join our private Neuronerd community at www.therapistuncensored.com/join.

“Anytime we focus on the power-over position – it can't be a safe connection. It communicates to your own nervous system that ‘You need to be more alone to be safe…' It ends up being a self-perpetuating experience.”  – Ann Kelley

Time Stamps for Power Dynamics – Episode 185

2:47 – Deep dive into the dismissive/”one-upping” defense tactic

9:57 – The role of gender socialization in this defense

14:41 – Addressing shame in relation to defense

24:36 – How our culture breeds narcissism and “one-down” defenses

34:55 – Interactive exercise for vulnerability

45:31 – Reviewing the “Three R's” spiral

CLICK HERE FOR THE DEFENSE SERIES, SESSION 3 TRANSCRIPTS on power dynamics Episode 185  – Lightly edited for readability

Related Therapist Uncensored Episodes 

Calling In the Call-Out Culture with Loretta J. Ross (168)

We have pledged 50% of all corporate profits & merch sales to organizations that support mental health access to those traditionally left out of mainstream healthcare.  We can only do that with the help of our Patrons. Please join us today!

By joining as a Patron premium subscriber, you get a dedicated ad-free feed, deeper dives into select content, extra episodes, and very unique study opportunities

 

Sponsors who help make these episodes free and available to all – please do check them out to support the show!

ACTION ALERT – For a limited time only our partner AG1 is offering our listeners $30 off if purchased by the end of September.  This is in addition to the free 1 year supply of Vit D and travel packs.  What is AG1?  It is the shake Ann and Sue both drink every morning because it actually tastes good and it provides a power-punch of all the good wellness ingredients including for gut health! Redeem here  www.athleticgreens.com/therapistuncensored!

$75 credit alert for our listeners!  Ann and Sue aren't tech-savvy so they appreciate how easy it is to use and navigate Indeed.  It is the hiring platform where you can attract, interview, and hire all in one place. Find top talent fast with Indeed’s suite of powerful hiring tools like Instant Match, Assessments, and Virtual Interviews. Hate waiting? Indeed’s US data shows over 80% of Indeed employers find quality candidates, whose resume on Indeed matches their job description, the MOMENT they sponsor a job. Start hiring now with a seventy-five dollar sponsorship credit to post your job post at Indeed.com/therapistuncensored

If you are the tent pole holding up support for other people, you may want to make sure they are protected should something happen to you.  Policygenius is an insurance marketplace that makes it easy to compare quotes from top companies like AIG and Prudential in one place to find your lowest price on life insurance. You could save 50% or more on life insurance by comparing quotes and options start at just $17 per month for $500,000 of coverage.  The licensed agents at Policygenius work for you, not the insurance companies and it doesn't cost you a thing to use their services. Policygenius.com 

Interested in more content? Check out our full episodes and other bonus clips from the show on our Youtube Channel. Please like, comment & subscribe!

Recent Episodes

Dreams: What do they really mean?  An open discussion with Ann & Sue (200)

Dreams: What do they really mean? An open discussion with Ann & Sue (200)

From weird dream fragments to unsettling nightmares, our associations to each dream can tell us a little bit more about our unconscious. Tapping into these deeper meanings can help us explore who we are and help us navigate from unsettledness in the dream back to security. Co-hosts Dr. Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott discuss the power of association in dreams and connect those to our inner working models. For shownotes www.therapistuncensored.com/200 to join our ad-free feed www.therapistuncensored.com/join.

read more
Exploring Internal Working Models with Ann & Sue (199)

Exploring Internal Working Models with Ann & Sue (199)

The care we receive in early development can be a strong indicator of who we become and how we interact. While it is mostly unconscious, our internal working models play a role in how we navigate our relationships with ourselves and others. Co-hosts Dr. Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott use neuroscience and personal narratives to help make this science digestible and applicable in our daily lives.

read more
A Client’s Perspective on EMDR with Dr. Deborah Korn & Michael Baldwin (198)

A Client’s Perspective on EMDR with Dr. Deborah Korn & Michael Baldwin (198)

Michael Baldwin is an accomplished leader in the communications industry with over 35 years of experience. Despite his many successes, after years of suppressing his traumas, Baldwin reached a breaking point. Through his work with Dr. Jeffrey Magnavita, Baldwin’s life was transformed by the power of EMDR. He wanted to make the science digestible for all audiences and created visual “billboards” for various aspects of EMDR. After teaming up with EMDR specialist Dr. Deborah Korn, the two authored “Every Memory Deserves Respect” – a book dedicated to helping others understand and heal their traumas. In this discussion, Deborah Korn explores the ways that trauma may go unnoticed, the ways it stores in our bodies, and common fears that are expressed when beginning the EMDR process. As an experienced client, Michael Baldwin is able to provide personal and meaningful ways that EMDR has improved his quality of life, relationships, and confidence.

read more
What Tiny Humans Can Teach Us About Adult Relating, with Neonatal Therapist Sue Ludwig (197)

What Tiny Humans Can Teach Us About Adult Relating, with Neonatal Therapist Sue Ludwig (197)

As a certified Neonatal Therapist, Sue Ludwig has dedicated her life to not only the physical development but the emotional development of her patients. Ludwig brings intentionality to each moment by strategically working to regulate patients’ nervous systems during their time in the NICU. Her process focuses on the interconnection of the mind and body and aims to support the child’s development in vulnerable situations. She explains the importance of proper technique to avoid disrupting the nervous system, and the long-term effects on neurodevelopment. Through her personal and professional journeys, Sue Ludwig has learned the value of being present in small moments to build deeper connections and experience lasting results.

read more
Whole Brain Living, Psychology + Neuroanatomy + Spirit with Dr. Jill Bolte-Taylor – REPLAY (195)

Whole Brain Living, Psychology + Neuroanatomy + Spirit with Dr. Jill Bolte-Taylor – REPLAY (195)

Integrating psychology, neurobiology and spiritual awakening – this episode will inspire you as it has the 26 million viewers of the TED Talk, Stroke of Insight. Using neuroanatomy and her deep insights from a serious stroke, Dr. Jill Bolte-Taylor and Sue Marriott discuss the 4 interpersonal skill subsets in the brain. Also find out more about Whole Brain Living and the various ways it can be applied across the multiple settings by getting in touch with Bolte-Taylor. This a a must-not-miss replay from 2022, find more at www.therapistuncensored.com/195, www.therapistuncensored.com/join to get an ad-free feed and join the online community.

read more
Calling In the Call-Out Culture with Loretta J. Ross – REPLAY (194)

Calling In the Call-Out Culture with Loretta J. Ross – REPLAY (194)

“Call-out culture” – a term coined within the last few years, but a concept that has existed long before. With a society immersed in technology, there are many positives about the seemingly never-ending conversation, but with the increase in connection, there’s also an increase in the ability to speak negatively to and about one another. How do we educate others without tearing them down? In a divided world, changing our approach can help create social change. Loretta J. Ross, an activist, professor, and self-proclaimed “professional feminist” has dedicated years of her life to understanding how and why this culture has evolved. Follow along in her insightful discussion with co-host, Sue Marriott as they explore the intentions behind these actions, the root of the issue, and how to more effectively “call-in” without “calling out” using the “Five C Continuum” process.

read more
Addiction, Attachment & the Felt Sense Polyvagal Model with Jan Winhall (193)

Addiction, Attachment & the Felt Sense Polyvagal Model with Jan Winhall (193)

Jan Winhall provides new perspectives on the ways in which culture and trauma affect our navigation within the world. Using the bottom-up approach, she explains how addictions are regulation strategies and provides tools to connect deeper to our nervous systems, and ourselves. Follow along as Sue Marriott and Jan explore her “felt sense” model where she blends neuroception and interoception through a polyvagal lens.

read more
Attachment, Stress & Bootstraps – The Intersection of Poverty & Mental Health with Dr. Sharon Lambert (191)

Attachment, Stress & Bootstraps – The Intersection of Poverty & Mental Health with Dr. Sharon Lambert (191)

Attachment ‘insecurity” is partly a manifestation of unresolved stress patterns in the child and, by extension, the family. Therapists usually think of stress as interpersonal and dyadic, but you can’t isolate individuals from context. We talk about context a lot when it comes to attachment – the circumstances or setting which helps to understand a process more deeply. As Sharon Lambert says in today’s episode, you can’t “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” if you have no boots. Sue Marriott and Sharon Lambert discuss the unconscious bootstraps communities have that cause blame towards those who are struggling.
There is no doubt that poverty impacts physical and emotional health, and thus lifting children out of poverty is a direct intervention in their well-being. Today’s session also explores fascinating research on how people use mental health podcasts – join us! www.therapistuncensored.com/join Shownotes here: www.therapistuncensored.com/191

read more
Secure Relating, Not the Same as Secure Attachment with Ann & Sue (190)

Secure Relating, Not the Same as Secure Attachment with Ann & Sue (190)

You don’t have to be totally healed from years of therapy under your belt or a history of secure attachment to develop skills for increased intimacy and secure relating. This is something that anybody, no matter their history, can begin to learn. Channeling your inner awareness to recognize a heightened state of arousal or using visualizations to help stay in a regulated place helps tap into your right brain to connect with yourself and your humanity. Ann and Sue navigate their personal examples, self-regulating tips, breaking out of their defensive “competitive head”, and many more useful strategies to explore the ways we can move in the direction of secure connections.

read more
Healing Body-Focused Repetitive Behavioral Disorders with Stacy Nakell (189)

Healing Body-Focused Repetitive Behavioral Disorders with Stacy Nakell (189)

Hair-pulling, skin picking, and cheek, lip, & cuticle biting are self-soothing strategies that depending on the degree can become body-focused repetitive behavioral disorders. Learn about a new attachment-informed psychodynamic model for treating these painful, shame-associated behaviors in our conversation today with Sue Marriott and Stacy Nakell.

read more

What else do you want to learn today?

Get Your Modern Attachment-Regulation Spectrum (MARS)Bundle

3 videos, 3 handouts, and 7 podcast episodes to get you started on your path toward secure relating.

Success! Please check your inbox to confirm your subscription and access your starter pack.

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This