TU158: Are You Cool, or Just Cut Off? Dismissing/Avoidant Styles of Relating in Adulthood – REPLAY

by | Oct 5, 2021 | Attachment, Episodes, modern attachment regulation spectrum, Personal Growth | 0 comments

Show Notes

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 36:12 — 25.0MB)

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music

Dismissing/Avoidant Styles of Relating in Adulthood – REPLAY

After 5 seasons and over 2 1/2 million downloads, Ann and Sue are realizing they need to bump the podcast UP from hobby status. We will be back soon and will have some news when we do, so look for us on November 2, 2021 for the Season 6 launch.  However, in the meantime, we thought we'd keep cycling through some oldies but goodies. The next 3 are extremely popular episodes and Season 6 will pick up where these leave off.

___

It is our pleasure to share one of our most popular in our basic attachment series.  This is the first of three – 159, 160, 161.  Take a listen, or re-listen and reflect, or share with somebody you know needs to listen.

We will be back soon and have been working hard contemplating next steps.  Look for us live again early November, we have a great season coming up and more chances for our listeners to interact.  Season 6 will pick up where these leave off, and we cannot wait to share more with you.

Sometimes you feel secure but really have just learned to cut off from important life-giving emotions. This episode is especially for those “talk to the hand” kind of people or those that love them. You know, the uber-independent, rational, left-brain, excel spreadsheet person that sees others emotions as needy and weak.

Co-hosts Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP and Ann Kelley PhD translate decades of research and clinical experience into easy to understand usable points to help you improve your understanding of why people appear so irrational at times. They talk about how internal working models of the world are formed outside of our awareness in our early life and how they get passed forward over time, sometimes causing relationship trouble.

Early stress responses and relationships create a pathway, and how we talk not what we say are clues to which pathway we may be on. This episode specifically focuses on the blue side of the spectrum, which you may be familiar from research as Dismissive or Avoidant.

To see the original show notes for this episode, click here. 

Coming soon – Premium content right moving from patreon to supercast:

http://www.therapistuncensored.supercast.com

Tweet

Recent Episodes

Bonus – The 5 Phases of Divorce: From Heartbreak to Healing with Oona Metz (297)

Bonus – The 5 Phases of Divorce: From Heartbreak to Healing with Oona Metz (297)

Apr 21, 2026

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 15:11 — 34.7MB)

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music

Therapist and author Oona Metz draws on three decades of experience supporting women through divorce. She breaks down the emotional arc of separation through her five-phase model, offering a clear lens into the grief, upheaval, and eventual growth that can unfold. The episode also explores common misconceptions, practical guidance for clinicians and individuals, and the powerful role of support groups in the healing process. Listen now at TherapistUncensored.com/TU297

read more
Inner Stability in an Unstable World: Margaret Cullen on Equanimity (296)

Inner Stability in an Unstable World: Margaret Cullen on Equanimity (296)

Apr 14, 2026

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 52:45 — 120.8MB)

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music

Explore the role of equanimity, mindfulness, and compassion in navigating an increasingly complex world. Special guest
Margaret Cullen alongside co-host Sue Marriott discuss the evolution of mindfulness in modern culture, the foundations of compassion-based practices, and how these approaches can support resilience and emotional balance. Grounded in both clinical insight and lived practice, this conversation offers a thoughtful, accessible perspective on cultivating steadiness and clarity in the midst of ongoing challenges. Listen to the full episode now at TherapistUncensored.com/TU296

read more
Where Personal Healing Meets Collective Change with Prentis Hemphill (295)

Where Personal Healing Meets Collective Change with Prentis Hemphill (295)

Mar 31, 2026

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 49:42 — 113.8MB)

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music

Prentis Hemphill, alongside co-host Sue Marriott, traces their path from social organizing to somatic therapy, revealing how personal healing and collective transformation are deeply intertwined. Together, they explore how inherited myths, power dynamics, and collective trauma shape both our inner worlds and our social systems. This episode invites therapists and change makers alike to consider healing as more than an individual process—it’s relational, embodied, and political in impact.
Prentice offers grounded reflections and practical tools for working with the body, navigating power, and engaging in healing that extends beyond the self. Listen to the full episode now at TherapistUncensored.com/TU295

read more
Bonus – Hormones, Libido, and the Missing Conversation About Women’s Bodies with Dr. Christine Vaccaro (294)

Bonus – Hormones, Libido, and the Missing Conversation About Women’s Bodies with Dr. Christine Vaccaro (294)

Mar 24, 2026

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 15:24 — 35.3MB)

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music

Dr. Christine Vaccaro helps demystify women’s sexual health – exploring everything from hormones and anatomy to libido and pelvic floor challenges. Together, we break down what’s often misunderstood or overlooked, offering clear, empowering insights to help women better understand their bodies and advocate for their care. Listen now at TherapistUncensored.com/TU294

read more
How Music Heals What Words Can’t with Ann Koplow (293)

How Music Heals What Words Can’t with Ann Koplow (293)

Mar 17, 2026

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 41:44 — 95.5MB)

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music

Ann Koplow shares her journey as a therapist and musician, discussing the healing power of music, her experiences with a rare heart condition, and the importance of authenticity in therapy. She emphasizes the role of shamelessness in creative expression and how songwriting serves as a therapeutic tool for both herself and her clients. The conversation explores the impact of music on mental health, the creation of community through shared experiences, and the necessity of letting go of
shame to embrace one’s true self. Listen now at TherapistUncensored.com/TU293

read more
From Crisis to Connection: Attachment as a Lifeline with Dr. Lisa Firestone (292)

From Crisis to Connection: Attachment as a Lifeline with Dr. Lisa Firestone (292)

Mar 3, 2026

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 57:25 — 131.5MB)

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music

Co-host Sue Marriott and guest Lisa Firestone examine how attachment wounds, emotional dysregulation, and relational disconnection can quietly escalate into crisis. Together they explore the often-overlooked link between attachment patterns and suicidality, and why understanding your relational blueprint may be one of the most important protective factors you have. Blending research, clinical experience, and practical strategies, this episode offers tools for building emotional resilience, increasing self-awareness, and supporting others through vulnerable moments. Listen to the full episode now at TherapistUncensored.com/TU292

read more
Nontoxic Guide to Healthy Living with Dr. Aly Cohen (290)

Nontoxic Guide to Healthy Living with Dr. Aly Cohen (290)

Feb 3, 2026

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:01:50 — 141.6MB)

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music

Dr. Aly Cohen and co-host Dr. Ann Kelley discuss the often-overlooked importance of drinking water quality, the impact of environmental toxins on health, and the connection between gut health and mental well-being. Dr. Cohen highlights the alarming rise of autoimmune diseases and the role of hormones and chemicals in our health. Learn practical, manageable ways to reduce toxin exposure, while exploring how nutrition, lifestyle choices, education, and community support play a vital role in empowering people to take control of their health.

read more
Celebrating 10 Years of TU: Growth, Reflections & the Future (289)

Celebrating 10 Years of TU: Growth, Reflections & the Future (289)

Jan 20, 2026

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 49:49 — 114.1MB)

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music

In this special 10-year anniversary episode, Sue and Ann reflect on a decade of Therapist Uncensored – how it began, how it’s changed, and how the relationships formed have deepened along the way. They share candidly about the influence from our listeners in keeping them curious, accountable, and grounded, as well as the ways their own thinking has evolved through conversations with leading experts and thoughtful audience feedback. Together they explore the joys and tensions of teaching in the mental health space, including the importance of humility, questioning long-held assumptions, and recognizing the limits of any single perspective. This episode is both a celebration and a recommitment – to inclusivity, to amplifying diverse voices, and to ongoing learning in a field that is constantly evolving. And above all, it’s a heartfelt thank-you to the community that has made the last ten years possible. View the full show notes at TherapistUncensored.com/TU289

read more
In Each Other’s Care: Building & Sustaining Healthy Relationships with Stan Tatkin – Replay – (288)

In Each Other’s Care: Building & Sustaining Healthy Relationships with Stan Tatkin – Replay – (288)

Jan 6, 2026

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 54:28 — 124.6MB)

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music

Conflict in relationships is inevitable – find out the ins and outs of repair for healthy relationships.

We are back with relationship expert, Dr. Stan Tatkin to explore the inner workings of relationships from a biological and societal perspective, and his new book, In Each Other’s Care. All humans are complicated creatures and if we spend enough time with each other, it’s going to get tense.  That part is OK, but what happens after arguing disconnection or tension is what really matters.

read more

What else do you want to learn today?

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This