TU05: How Attachment Impacts Adult Relationships – Attachment 101 Part 1

by | Sep 8, 2016 | Attachment, Episodes, Relationships, Therapy

Show Notes

Attachment 101: Part One

Secure relationships are what we are shooting for, with ourself and with close others. Secure relating is connected to neural integration and road maps we have internalized from our childhood. The capacity for security is within all of us no matter our histories.

Even if we did not get security as a child, we can develop into it as an adult.

There are different types of security and insecurity, and we discuss it on a continuum where we all can relate to the different modes of relating rather than only using separate, distinct quadrants. This is an important point of these episodes so that we aren’t trying to categorize or diagnose anyone in particular but we are able to use the concepts to improve our relationships:

Attachment Styles

  • Avoidant/Dismissive is a kind of organized insecurity that deactivates and by-passes distress. While here, we unconsciously need attachment, but we often do not perceive or have difficulty expressing the need or desire for others. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps, I’ll give you something to cry about, Lone Ranger…
  • Anxious/Preoccupied attachment is a kind of organized insecurity where we have difficulty calming down after reaching distress. We are afraid of loss or abandonment – those who identify here can misread negativity into interactions and respond accordingly.
  • There is also another category from the research, called disorganized insecurity. This kind of insecurity has most to do with loss and trauma. This is healable and the brain and body can recover by working through whatever the trauma or loss may be.
  • See Stan Tatkin. 
  • A part of us is always able to relate in the optimal level and we can keep gaining insight and creating connections so we can deepen and grow the best part of ourselves.

Special thanks to our guest psychotherapist, Traci Campbell. 

 

Resources

Additional resources for this episode:

Recent Episodes

TU 150: Ann & Sue’s 150th Episode – Recaps & Recommendations for Growing Security

TU 150: Ann & Sue’s 150th Episode – Recaps & Recommendations for Growing Security

Sue Marriott LCSW CGP and Ann Kelley PhD conclude their fifth season of this podcast. Therapist Uncensored is packed with incredible content and has an archive of episodes developed over the past 5 years with the theme growing security. The expert guest list is an embarrassment of riches. This episode reviews some of the highlights and points you in the right direction based on your interest. Shownotes at therapistuncensored.com/tu150.

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TU 149: Modern Attachment Regulation Spectrum – An Integrated Model of Change

TU 149: Modern Attachment Regulation Spectrum – An Integrated Model of Change

The Modern Attachment-Regulation Spectrum – a model developed to describe attachment and neuroscience discussed by Sue Marriott & Ann Kelley. They summarize the 5 seasons so far and give a review of what they’ve learned. If you have ever wanted to understand attachment or keep up to date with the science, this podcast is packed with resources for you to learn and grown. See more at www.therapistuncensored.com/episodes

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TU 148: Emotionally Focused Therapy & Attachment with Camille Scent

TU 148: Emotionally Focused Therapy & Attachment with Camille Scent

Today’s episode dives into a specific form of healing relationships, Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT). Co-host Sue Marriott talks with therapist Camille Scent about Sue Johnson’s widely-respected treatment model. EFT is based in attachment science is a powerful tool in transforming even very difficult relationships.

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