TU115: Improving Your Emotional Health – the Challenge & the Update with Ann Kelley PhD and Sue Marriott LCSW CGP

by | Feb 19, 2020 | 30 Day Challenge, Brain Science, Episodes, Mindfulness, Personal Growth | 0 comments

Show Notes

30-Day Emotional Health Challenge Update

In this episode of Therapist Uncensored, co-hosts Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott discuss their progress in their 30-Day Emotional Health Challenge.

If you haven’t joined us in the 30-Day Challenge, you can start today by CLICKING HERE! No sales no gimmicks, just support for you to change!

Positive, Humbling, and Frickin’ Hard

  • Ann discuses the positive activation around sharing and discussing the 30-Day Emotional Health Challenge.
  • Sue shares about the Challenge of the Emotional Health Challenge
  •  A bit ambitious because it is a deeply held unconscious learning

Working on Changing Adaptations From Early Childhood

  • The consensus in the Facebook group and among our Patrons is that we're picking something that was an adaptation from our early life. It was important that we learn to do it, but it's not necessarily helping us now.
  • The problem is it was laid down in our bodies so early and really without conscious thought, so even just thinking about it doesn't necessarily change it. Instead, we adapt to it, repress it, etc.
  • This leads to a cycle of recognizing something, acknowledging that it isn’t working, and then repeating the behavior, which is induces shame.

Relief and Frustration

These behaviors are implicit (unconscious) not explicit (conscious), which makes them really hard to change.

The Process:

  •  Community connection
  •  Trying to teach ourselves to do something new
  •  Picking one thing, not everything, with love, compassion, and curiosity
  •  Examine the symptom or behavior that is no longer serving us
  •  Just learning about it and becoming more aware
  • Not trying to repress or change it
  • Try something new and continue to learn
  •  Are we resistant to changing? Reluctant to give up the old behavior? Etc

Adjusting the Emotional Health Goal

Sue discusses the zig-zag process of scaling her goal up and down based on her exploration process and how her thoughts about it changed after attending a conference with Bruce Eckert on Memory Reconsolidation. 

Two Particularly Helpful Takeaways From the Conference

  • We can’t know our unconscious
  • Sue tests out whether or not The Memory Reconsolidation Technique is something we can do alone
  • Because the behavior is implicit, it comes from the unconscious, so there is no way to see it by ourselves.
  • But we can still move it by being curious about our responses and what comes up in the feelings of threat.
  • Seeing the effects of the implicit coming out in our explicit reactions and working to get more comfortable with it invites it in more.
  • State Dependent Learning
  • When we're in a regulated state, we have access to all this great knowledge and learned information.
  • As we get into a dysregulated state, the neural network shifts and it becomes a different learning. We really actually kind of lose contact for a moment with that more reflective stance. Especially if we come from a neglect or a trauma background or had tough things in life or had adversity.
  • We have these learnings that are on their own neural network.

Neural Networks and Changing Symptomatic Behavior

  • There are 2 different neural circuits, and the only way to change the symptomatic behavior is to access the other neural circuit.
  • This has to do with activation, so we have to actually feel the feelings to improve emotional health.

How Do We know What’s Changing?

  • It starts with the behavior starts with the symptom. In recognizing the symptom that you want to shift, you've gone much more internal and you've named one part of it.
  • In exploring it, we are un-layering it, and we’re smack dab on our which is to to go deeper and shift to more of a sense of security inside of you.

Who doesn’t love special offers? Discounted course – It’s Not Me It’s My Amygdala! Advanced Course Connecting the Science(s) of the Mind to Interpersonal Relationships

Our advanced course on attachment and relational neuroscience has been recently released and is now available (wahoo)! Since you are now deep into these shownotes, then you are one of us, use the code OURCLAN for an immediate discount for the course.
This course is popular with clinicians (CE’s available!), all who are interested in deepening security in yourselves and your relationships are welcome to participate. 4 hours of curated content!
CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFORMATION

Dive in and get more involved – join us on Patreon! brain

Join our exclusive community of Therapist Uncensored Neuronerds for as little as $5 a month!

Increase your access, join a kick-ass like-minded community, get discounts on our courses and get exclusive content.

Help us create a ripple of security by supporting us in freely sharing the science of relationships around the globe!

NEURONERDS UNITE! Click here to sign up.

BOOK of the MONTH 

book of the monthMaybe You Should Talk to Someone A Therapist, HER Therapist and a Life Revealed, by Lori Gottlieb.

If you are looking for something to inspire you – make you laugh – tear up a bit and generally move towards being a better human this is the book we are recommending this month. Use the link above for a free audiobook!

 

LIKE this episode? Please please please leave us a review and rating on your podcast player. You also may enjoy these episodes related to emotional health:

TU30: The Stages of Change: A Roadmap to Readiness

TU88: 6 Steps to Increase Your Felt Sense of Security

TU08: Understanding Emotional Triggers: Why Your Buttons Get Pushed and What To Do About It

We have pledged 50% of all corporate profits & merch sales (very fun swag!) to organizations that support mental health access to those traditionally left out of mainstream healthcare.  We can only do that with the help of our Neuronerd private community.

By joining as a Neuronerd premium subscriber, you get a dedicated ad-free feed, deeper dives into select content and first shot at very unique study opportunities. If we've provided value then please check us out, poke around, make sure you feel comfortable and then join us today!

Recent Episodes

Embodied Dying: Embracing the Sacred Union Between Life & Death (253)

Embodied Dying: Embracing the Sacred Union Between Life & Death (253)

Lee Warren shares her experience of living in an intentional community and how it opened the door to exploring tantra and the sacredness of death. Alongside co-host Sue Marriott, they explore tantra as a way to connect with the divine within ourselves and others, using tools like breath, sound, and movement to navigate the energy in our bodies. They also discuss death as a sacred process and the importance of preparing for it—both practically and spiritually. Learn how tantra and death preparation share a common goal: helping us embrace the impermanence of life and find joy in the present moment.

read more
The Power of Acceptance & Commitment (ACT Therapy) with Dr. Diana Hill (252)

The Power of Acceptance & Commitment (ACT Therapy) with Dr. Diana Hill (252)

Dr. Diana Hill and co-host Dr. Ann Kelley explore the power of process-based therapy to improve relationships and wellbeing. Through various methods like the 6 principles of ACT, the understanding of values, and the family body analogy, they use their personal and professional experience to discuss ways to help resolve conflict and find deeper connection through secure relating. Learn ways to tap into your most deeply connected self to move forward through life’s challenges and nurture healthy relationships.

read more
AEDP Therapy: Engaging with Emotions & Experiences with Dr. Diana Fosha (251)

AEDP Therapy: Engaging with Emotions & Experiences with Dr. Diana Fosha (251)

Sue Marriott and Diana Fosha explore the key principles of Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy (AEDP) and its transformative impact on the field. AEDP begins with the premise of “healing from the get-go,” and fostering change from the first session. It emphasizes “undoing aloneness” by building a supportive therapeutic relationship, while encouraging clients to engage deeply with emotions. Join us as we highlight techniques like metatherapeutic processing, where clients reflect on their healing experience, and integrating neuroscience into clinical practice.

read more
Secure Relating & the Election: Fostering Connection in Political Division (249)

Secure Relating & the Election: Fostering Connection in Political Division (249)

The political events in the United States have been a major contributor to our anxieties these past years, and with our significant presidential election looming over us this week – Ann and Sue are here to talk about the hard things. While the world feels unpredictable on the outside, one thing we can do is focus on the intricate relationship between our nervous systems and the emotional responses triggered by political events. They discuss how fear and anxiety are often manipulated through political rhetoric, leading to division and polarization, the importance of understanding how personal relationships amidst these tensions
are emphasized, and the need for secure relating and accountability from leaders. There is power in recognizing the complexity of political opinions and the necessity of maintaining open dialogue to foster connection rather than division. Join us as we explore how to navigate differences, the importance of empathy and community, and the need for resilience during uncertain times.

read more
LIVE from KUYA Wellness: A Discussion on Secure Relating & Tough Conversations (248)

LIVE from KUYA Wellness: A Discussion on Secure Relating & Tough Conversations (248)

Alongside Pam Benson Owens, Ann and Sue explore a variety of topics with a live audience at the KUYA Wellness center in Austin, TX. Referencing their book, Secure Relating: Holding Your Own in an Insecure World, they delve into the neuroscience behind relationships, discussing attachment styles and emotional regulation, and emphasize the importance of creating safe spaces for dialogue. They highlight the significance of understanding generational trauma and the complexities of navigating relationships in a diverse society. Through personal stories and insightful discussions, they shine a light on the power of self-awareness, encouraging listeners to explore their own emotional landscapes with compassion and curiosity. Learn how creating safe spaces for open dialogue can deepen connections, while understanding the role of pauses and curiosity in everyday conversations.

read more
New Frontiers of Adult ADHD James Ochoa (247)

New Frontiers of Adult ADHD James Ochoa (247)

James Ochoa and co-host Sue Marriott explore the different subtypes of ADHD, and the impact on adults who are navigating a diagnosis later in life. As an ADHD expert, Ochoa shares insights on the emotional and mental stress that accompanies ADHD, as well as provides different techniques for managing symptoms. With an emphasis on the importance of self-care, communication, and personalized strategies, he provides resources and training for adults with ADHD, professionals who work with ADHD clients, and family members of individuals with ADHD.

read more
Challenging Defenses: An Introduction to Experiential Dynamic Therapies (EDTS): (246)

Challenging Defenses: An Introduction to Experiential Dynamic Therapies (EDTS): (246)

Sue Marriott and Ann Kelley discuss Experiential Dynamic Therapies (EDTs) with experts Margaret Martin and Dr. Deb Pollack. These therapies focus on recognizing and challenging defenses that lead to
problems both internally and relationally. Learn the difference between defenses that feel right (Egosyntonic) and those that don’t (Egodystonic) and why it’s important to work against them for change. This episode is a deep dive into the role of EDTS in couples’ therapy, and highlights the need for an integrated approach to address underlying trauma, plus much more!

read more
Liberating Marginalized Couples from Relational and Systemic Trauma with Akilah Riley-Richardson (245)

Liberating Marginalized Couples from Relational and Systemic Trauma with Akilah Riley-Richardson (245)

Sue Marriott and Akilah Riley Richardson dive into a compelling discussion about the vital need to center marginalized voices in therapy. They explore how Western perspectives have shaped therapy practices globally, often overlooking diverse cultural approaches. Akilah brings a fresh, challenging perspective to the table. She pushes for a real shake-up in how we approach therapy, especially when working with marginalized couples. It’s not just about tweaking existing methods – she’s calling for a fundamental rethinking of our assumptions.
The conversation tackles some heavy topics, from unpacking the concept of relational privilege to developing strategies that help couples see beyond their individual struggles to the bigger picture of systemic trauma. It’s eye-opening stuff.  What really stands out is their focus on the deep impact of systemic trauma. They don’t just acknowledge it – they dig into why it’s so crucial for therapists to truly understand and address it in their work.
Ultimately, this discussion isn’t just academic. It’s a call to action for therapists to step up, broaden their perspectives, and find new ways to help couples break free from systemic constraints. It’s about empowering relationships and, in the process, maybe changing the face of therapy itself. Get it ad-free: www.therapistuncensored.com/join Go to shownotes www.therapistuncensored.com/tu245.

read more
Therapeutic Psychedelics: Discernment, Science, and the Need for Theory with Nigel Denning (244)

Therapeutic Psychedelics: Discernment, Science, and the Need for Theory with Nigel Denning (244)

Australia is ahead of the US when it comes to legalizing psychedelics, so we can learn from their experience as it rolls out. Exploration of psychedelic-assisted therapy – the efficacy, skepticism, and the future of state-change therapeutics with Nigel Denning. shownotes: www.therapistuncensored.com/tu244 www.therapistuncensored.com/join

read more
Improv: Fostering Connection in Challenging Conversations (243)

Improv: Fostering Connection in Challenging Conversations (243)

Dr. Ann Kelley and Lisa Kays discuss how improv can deepen conversations around tough topics like race and oppression. They examine white supremacy culture and show how improv values like collaboration, slowing down, and embracing complexity can challenge these norms. Improv fosters creativity, playfulness, and self-reflection to help reduce defensiveness and strengthen relationships in everyday life, at work, or in our closest relationships. By creating a supportive, collaborative environment, improv deepens connections and helps people tap into a wider range of emotions.

read more
Protection or Connection? Neural Pathways & Regulation Basics – Replay (242)

Protection or Connection? Neural Pathways & Regulation Basics – Replay (242)

Everyone is familiar with reacting “in the heat of the moment,” but do we really understand what that means? Regulation basics include the protection or connection pathways to interpersonal relating. With the high tension we’re experiencing in the world today, it can feel particularly challenging to practice secure relating. We are re-sharing one of our impactful episodes where Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott explore the inner workings of our nervous system auto-pilot settings: protection vs connection.

read more
Journey to Self-Discovery: Navigating Identity & Mental Health as a Korean American Immigrant Hyeseung Song (241)

Journey to Self-Discovery: Navigating Identity & Mental Health as a Korean American Immigrant Hyeseung Song (241)

Dr. Ann Kelley and Hyeseung Song, a first-generation Korean American discuss Hyeseung’s experiences growing up as an Asian minority in America, touching on topics like racial stereotypes, assimilation, and the model minority myth .Hyeseung shares her journey of finding her voice and identity, highlighting the mental health challenges of navigating between cultures.

read more

What else do you want to learn today?

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This