TU90: Attachment Avoidance and the Difficulty Opening Up, with Robert T. Muller

by | Feb 14, 2019 | Attachment, Episodes, Therapy, Trauma

Show Notes

Troubled attachment is a natural outcome of challenging life experiences or trauma. But, there’s another outcome that we want to talk about: intimacy avoidance.

It’s hard enough to open up in relationships. However, when your life experience has challenged you, avoidance is sure to follow. You may have found safety in hiding (a.k.a. cloaking). Yet, that cloak can clog up our current adult relationships. Dang it! Sorry to tell you what we imagine you already know – 🙂

Gotta lose the cloak, friend.

Sue Marriott & guest, Robert T. Muller, talk from a place of totally getting it. “Talking the talk” is so much easier than “walking the walk”!

We all gotta work on losing the cloak. even as therapists. 😉

Today’s guest expert: 

Robert T Muller PhD is author of the newly released, Trauma and the Struggle to Open Up, as well as the psychotherapy bestseller,  Trauma and the Avoidant Client, Attachment-Based Strategies for Healing.

He has published numerous articles on trauma, attachment, and psychotherapy. He enjoys being a professor of Clinical Psychology at York University and a Fellow of the International Society for the Study of Trauma & Dissociation.

Dr. Muller is an international speaker with over 30 years of experience. In addition, he has a clinical practice in downtown Toronto.

In TU 90, we discuss avoidance:

  • What is “self-deception”?
  • When the truth in trauma is unspeakable, we edit the truth as a coping mechanism.
  • How does avoidance form?
  •  Humor as a coping strategy has a deeper meaning.
  • What is “Post-traumatic” growth?
  • What fundamental questions do we have to reckon with?
  • Let’s talk about forgiveness with trauma.
  • What is “rushed forgiveness”?
  • Why is there a felt pressure to forgive?
  • Dr. Muller shares his own personal experiences with listeners.
  • He opens up about his father’s trauma as well as his subsequent trauma.
  • Dr. Muller talks about his interest in the subject of trauma.
  • What can therapists do in-session?
  • Allowing client critiques can level the playing field.

Want to hear more related to Avoidance?

Listen to this episode where Dr. Dan Brown discusses Complex Trauma. 

And, check out this episode with Bonnie Badenoch on Establishing Neurological Safety

This Episode’s Resources are listed below!



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