TU161: Managing Unconscious Defense & Fear with Ann Kelley PhD and Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP

by | Nov 2, 2021 | Attachment, Episodes, modern attachment regulation spectrum, Therapy | 0 comments

Show Notes

Therapist Uncensored Supercast feed, fear and defensiveness premiere episode

Season 6 Premiere!  Move from defense and fear

It's been a ride, but hosts Sue Marriott and Ann Kelley are back in full force and ready for this exciting season. In this episode, we catch up with you and discuss the depths of the defensive process and how to resource ourselves to put down the walls we don't even mean to put up.  Cis-women are socialized to subsume themselves to others' needs and Ann and Sue are no exception.  They are working on holding their own voice and letting their little light shine freely. Watch this 3 min clip to see what we mean and to get into the spirit yourself! 🙂


Content-wise, they discuss the difference between cognitive understanding of modern attachment and regulation, and the bottom-up experience of it. We distort information coming in – either by not registering interpersonal information (dismissing/blue side of the spectrum) or by over-interpreting the importance of an exchange (up-regulating with fear). This is an unconscious process that to undo we have to have the courage and the resources to feel the feelings that cause us to defend. They walk through it with you – they don't just tell you what to do – so join us in understanding our own defensive process.

Check out our recent replays for a refresher on each of the attachment styles:




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