Back to Basics: Understanding All Things Attachment with Ann & Sue (209)

by | Jul 18, 2023 | Attachment, Episodes, modern attachment regulation spectrum, Personal Growth | 0 comments

Show Notes

Wanting to learn more about attachment? This is the episode for you!

This is a follow-up to our previous episode on recognizing secure states of mind. If you're a regular listener, you know we talk a lot about attachment – but what is it exactly? This episode is a refresher course where we break down what it is, what it isn't, attachment spectrums, embodied stories, and much more. Whether you're more advanced in your knowledge of the topic or starting fresh – this is a great place to connect and better understand how attachment plays a role in our lives.

“We are social beings, but we have to be social beings. This isn't a choice, it isn't an option. And our incredibly intuitive pre-programmed body knows that from in utero on – it's in our wiring.” – Dr. Ann Kelley

Time Stamps for Attachment Basics

1:17 – What is attachment?

4:29 – Why you should care about attachment

6:07 – Early attachment and its effect on our development

7:46 – Attachment is not the same thing as love

10:16 – Why we want to avoid attachment “categories”

15:29 – Example of embodied stories

20:48 – Understanding the protection system and connection system

26:22 – Utilizing curiosity to build secure attachment

28:01 – What is a coherent narrative?

39:10 – Recognizing patterns in your nervous system behaviors

Resources for Attachment Basics 

The Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation in the United StatesSurgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy Calls for Action to Address Public Health Crisis

John Bowlby's Attachment theory – A summary of Bowlby's theory

Mary Ainsworth Strange Situation – A summary of Ainsworth's theory & experiment

If you enjoyed this one you'll love these: 

Secure Attachment & Recognizing Secure States of Mind with Ann & Sue (208)

TU151: Secure Parenting While Under Stress with Dan Siegel & Tina Payne-Bryson REPLAY

Secure Relating, Not the Same as Secure Attachment with Ann & Sue (190)

TU 149: Modern Attachment Regulation Spectrum – An Integrated Model of Change

TU126 – What Do We Mean by Modern Attachment? Sue Marriott & Ann Kelley Discuss

TU141: How We Become the Person's We Are with Dr. Alan Sroufe, Attachment Through the Lifespan

Click here to view today's episode transcripts!!

Please consider giving to Mental Health Liberation

 

We support mental health access to those traditionally left out of mainstream healthcare and use a portion of the income we receive from corporate sponsors to do just that!  We can only do that with the help of our Patrons – joining as a TU Neuronerd Podsquad premium subscriber, you support this mission and get a dedicated ad-free feed plus occasional very cool and unique study opportunities, reading groups, and unique surprises!  We invite you to join our community. Click here to join! 

Recent Episodes

A Neuroscience-Proven Expressive Writing Protocol with Dr. James Pennebaker (225)

A Neuroscience-Proven Expressive Writing Protocol with Dr. James Pennebaker (225)

Co-hosts Ann and Sue discuss this powerful tool directly with the original researcher, Dr. James Pennebaker. While expressive writing is not a simple “elixir” to cure mental or physical illness, Dr. Pennebaker has dedicated years of research and found it to be an effective method of healing for many people. Going straight for the hardest memory is hard, but replicates many techniques used by therapists yet without the cost and accessibility barriers. www.therapistuncensored.com/tu225. www.securerelatingbook.com

read more
How Good Boundaries Actually Bring Us Closer, with Juliane Taylor Shore – REPLAY (224)

How Good Boundaries Actually Bring Us Closer, with Juliane Taylor Shore – REPLAY (224)

Interpersonal co-regulation requires boundary-setting. Therapist Uncensored co-hosts Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott join the founder of IPNB Psychotherapy of Austin, Dr. Juliane Taylor Shore, in a discussion on interpersonal neurobiology and regulation. We’ll explore the three types of boundaries, how to co-create them plus how to stay regulated using internalized relationships with the self.

read more
Believing Chronic Fatigue – Living with Long Covid, ME/CFS (Myalgic Encepholomyelitis) and Hard to Diagnose Chronic Illnesses (223)

Believing Chronic Fatigue – Living with Long Covid, ME/CFS (Myalgic Encepholomyelitis) and Hard to Diagnose Chronic Illnesses (223)

25.6% of adults who have had COVID-19 report having experienced long Covid (source). While there are a variety of symptoms and severities that come with the illness, it doesn’t
erase the physical and mental toll it can take on one’s life. In this episode, Ann and Sue take their research as well as personal experience with the illness and discuss the stigmas, advocating for your health, being a supportive caregiver, and secure relating in regards to chronic disease.

read more
Trailblazers in Love: Understanding & Advocating for the LGBTQ+ Community with Jeff Lutes (222)

Trailblazers in Love: Understanding & Advocating for the LGBTQ+ Community with Jeff Lutes (222)

We are kicking off the new year with a special conversation between co-host Sue Marriott and special guest Jeff Lutes. Both members of the LGBTQ+ community, this discussion dives into raising families, the evolution of the community, allyship, gender, and the importance of advocacy. While there has been some progress, the LGBTQ+ community still actively faces discrimination. Whether you’re a practicing therapist with clients in the community or have LGBTQ-identifying loved ones, this episode is for you. Through a personal and professional lens, this conversation offers new perspectives and shines a light on the significance of staying educated and being an active voice.

read more
TU 2023 Year in Review: Building Internalized Secure Voices (221)

TU 2023 Year in Review: Building Internalized Secure Voices (221)

We explored many ideas this year and despite the variety of topics we found a consistent theme – nurturing secure relating in an insecure world. From interviews with our oldest son on the climate crisis to the power of awe in everyday life, we were met with rich conversations and endless opportunities to grow. As we close out 2023 with gratitude, Ann and Sue look back at important episodes from this year, review lessons learned, and exciting announcements to come in 2024.

read more
Healing Body-Focused Repetitive Behavioral Disorders with Stacy Nakell – Replay – (220)

Healing Body-Focused Repetitive Behavioral Disorders with Stacy Nakell – Replay – (220)

Hair-pulling, skin picking, and cheek, lip, & cuticle biting are self-soothing strategies that depending on the degree can become body-focused repetitive behavioral disorders. Learn about a new attachment-informed psychodynamic model for treating these painful, shame-associated behaviors in our conversation today with Sue Marriott and Stacy Nakell.

read more
Ditching Invulnerability: Embracing Our Most Authentic Selves (219)

Ditching Invulnerability: Embracing Our Most Authentic Selves (219)

While just the word vulnerability can trigger our defenses, it can also be a great gateway to secure relating and deepening the connection with our authentic selves. In a society heavily influenced by social media, unhealthy gender roles, and many other factors – Ann and Sue dive into the importance of changing the narrative and stepping out of our defensive invulnerable state and into our healthy, vulnerable selves. 

read more
Cultivating Secure Relating – TU Updates & Book Sneak Peeks with Ann & Sue (218)

Cultivating Secure Relating – TU Updates & Book Sneak Peeks with Ann & Sue (218)

Relating from a place of inner security is not about an attachment category, and it can’t stop with us as individuals. Ann and Sue share exciting news and community updates for TU. With secure relating at the forefront, this episode includes a sneak peek into the structure of their new book, Secure Relating Holding Your Own in an Insecure World. They explain the three R healing spiral, cultivating community, and much more! Now is a great time to join our online Neuronerd community www.therapistuncensored.com/join! Find shownotes at www.therapistuncensored.com/tu218.

read more
Attachment-Focused EMDR – Tools & Techniques to Heal Trauma with Dr. Laurel Parnell – Replay (216)

Attachment-Focused EMDR – Tools & Techniques to Heal Trauma with Dr. Laurel Parnell – Replay (216)

A theory around trauma is that when it occurs it “gets locked in the nervous system” and the way in which the body stores the trauma – in the form of thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations – can be left fragmented, therefore delaying true healing. Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessings, also known as EMDR, is an evolving science that utilizes bilateral stimulation to help connect the left side of the brain to the right in order to form more cohesive, healing thoughts to better support the healing process. Tune in for this episode as co-host Dr. Ann Kelley and Dr. Parnell take a deep dive into the evolution and successes of EMDR.

read more
Attachment, Stress & Bootstraps – The Intersection of Poverty & Mental Health with Dr. Sharon Lambert – Replay (215)

Attachment, Stress & Bootstraps – The Intersection of Poverty & Mental Health with Dr. Sharon Lambert – Replay (215)

Attachment ‘insecurity” is partly a manifestation of unresolved stress patterns in the child and, by extension, the family. Therapists usually think of stress as interpersonal and dyadic, but you can’t isolate individuals from context. We talk about context a lot when it comes to attachment – the circumstances or setting which helps to understand a process more deeply. As Sharon Lambert says in today’s episode, you can’t “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” if you have no boots. Sue Marriott and Sharon Lambert discuss the unconscious bootstraps communities have that cause blame towards those who are struggling. www.therapistuncensored.com/episodes to join our premium Neuronerd community www.therapistuncensored.com/join

read more

What else do you want to learn today?

Get Your Modern Attachment-Regulation Spectrum (MARS)Bundle

3 videos, 3 handouts, and 7 podcast episodes to get you started on your path toward secure relating.

Success! Please check your inbox to confirm your subscription and access your starter pack.

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This