When you unconsciously deem “power” as what keeps you “safe” in vulnerable situations, reflecting and rewiring on this dynamic can transform your connections.
Human defenses are quite necessary to protect our nervous system and sense of self. The goal isn’t to eliminate defenses – but to learn how to regulate them, especially in relationships. Defenses can often feel triggered when there is an uneven power dynamic expressed in a relationship and can be influenced by outside factors like gender socialization, culture, or personal history.
Narcissism
Resources
From Toxic Individualism to Relational Security with Terry Real (179)
This episode explores individualistic thinking and will support you doing the tough internal work to give up power in favor of connection. Utilizing neurobiology, years of research, and professional experience, Terry Real and Ann Kelley break down the history of individualism and the toxic patterns it can hold in our society and in our relationships. Episode notes at www.therapistuncensored.com/180.
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Sue and Ann Explore Self Criticism and Internal Scripts (Ep.169)
Hearing yourself criticized impacts your nervous system no matter if the voice is your own or someone else. Ann and Sue take a deep dive into self-criticism, self attack, and internal criticism of others. They look at how it relates to attachment styles and use it as a window in to unconscious scripts we carry about ourselves and the world. Find more at www.therapistuncensored.com/episodes and join our Neuronerd community at www.therapistuncensored.com/join!
TU143: Fear of Abandonment and Narcissism, with Dr. Ramani Durvasula
Dr. Ramani Durvasula joins us to deepen our series on challenging personalities and to discuss the underpinnings of narcissism as it relates to attachment. Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP and Dr. Durvasula discuss how to identify and navigate these tough relationships. See more at www.therapistuncensored.com/episodes
TU138: What if it’s You that’s the Difficult One? Holding Your Own Challenging Personality Traits (6 of 6)
So we’ve been studying how to hold our own with challenging people, but what if you become aware that that difficult person is you? Cringe. Yea, us too, we get it. We summarize and review the series and focus on how to change your life for the better. Sue Marriott and Ann Kelley take you along on some personal examples of being difficult themselves.
TU137: Holding Your Own S5, Malignant Narcissism (5th in a series)
Accusations are their confessions. In this episode learn why we elect, promote, excuse and love those with malignant narcissist tendencies. Sort out the other forms of self-involvement, psychopathology and anti-social traits from this dangerous personality structure. Sue & Ann finish out their series on Holding Your Own with Challenging Personality Traits – this is session 5 of 6. Find more here www.therapistuncensored.com
TU136: Holding Your Own S4 -“Borderline” Traits (4th in a series)
When does sensitivity cross the line into clinical reactivity?
Borderline traits, or those with highly reactive personalities, are another common challenge in relationship that we might need support to navigate well.
Today’s episode sees co-hosts Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott unpack high reactivity through a caring and developmental approach. Together, they discuss how these dynamics and traits arise, what they look like, and what we can do when we find ourselves in relationships with them. Find more here www.therapistuncensored.com/episodes
TU135: Holding Your Own Session 3 – Covert Narcissism (3rd in a Series)
When does self-consciousness and self-reflection cross the line into self-preoccupation? Covert narcissism is also called thin-skinned, vulnerale, depressed or closet narcissism. It’s a real thing but unlike grandiosity, it’s quite hard to spot! Think about it – if you feel when you walk in a room everyone is looking at you – admiringly or judgmentally, either way – that is a narcissistic fantasy. Today’s episode follows the other side of grandiosity. Find more here www.therapistuncensored.com/episodes
TU134: Holding Your Own Session 2, Grandiose Narcissism has Met it’s Match (2nd in a series)
Holding Your Own with Challenging Personalities - staying secure in relationship with those high in narcissistic, borderline or anti-social traits. Session 2 - Staying secure in connection with one kind of narcissism: grandiose narcissism Co-hosts Ann Kelley and Sue...
TU133: Holding Your Own 1: Messy but Secure Relating
First in a series Holding Your Own with Challenging Personalities – this episode unpacks the 5 types of conflict in couples, conditions to develop security and cornerstones of what makes secure functioning couples secure. This sets up our later episodes on the various types of narcissism, misunderstood borderline relating, antisocial and malignant narcissism, unconscious defenses for everyone involved, suspected causes of high reactivity or impaired empathy, and a focus all along on what you can do to improve your circumstances – whatever that means for you.
TU111: Navigating Narcissistic Relationships – Gaslighting Manipulation and Grandiosity Called Out
You deserve better!! Are you lost in a narcissistic relationship?
The term narcissism is easily tossed around, especially in this world of selfies. However if you are deeply connected to someone with the personality disorder narcissism it is a very real, painful and a seriously disruptive experience. It is also surprisingly difficult to identify when you are immersed in it, and difficult to disengage the pattern of supporting their world-view. We break it down here!
TU105: Narcissism – What is Going on Under the Defense with Sue Marriott and Ann Kelley
Hey everybody, we are BACK and ready to take off on Season 4!!! Wahoo! Narcissism – This time we focus on how it’s created and what is going on behind the narcissists defenses. Later we will address Malignant Narcissism, which is in a class all to itself! It deserves...
TU13: Our Powerful Fascination With Narcissism In The Era Of Trump
Our Powerful Fascination With Narcissism In The Era Of Trump An in-depth discussion with Dr. Leonard Cruz and Dr. Steven Buser, editors of “A Clear and Present Danger: Narcissism in the Era of Donald Trump.” We are publishing this podcast just a few days before the...